I was watching Scarponi win stage six of the Giro last night on that newfangled Universal Sports channel (110 on IO, in case you're wondering). While it was interesting to see the mountain stages being ridden so early in the race, I was sorta bored. There were a couple of funny or mildly entertaining things to see or ponder though... specifically in the final kilometers leading up to the finish at Mayrhofen.
The Bleacher Report writes:
"...Scarponi, the winner of March's Tirreno-Adriatico, dug in, dropped Kiriyenka, and managed to hold off the storming peloton to win the stage by 32 seconds. Kiriyenka had been swallowed up in the finishing kilometers."
What they failed to mention, and I unfortunately can't find a picture of, was Kiriyenka's gazelle-esque on-bike stretching technique. His left leg started freezing up right after they crested the last climb, so he unclips it, and pulls his foot up right behind the saddle! I've never ever seen this before (probably due, in part, to my questionable bike handling ability) and am totally enthralled by it!
I can see this turning into a sweet freestyle trick to be performed principally by hipsters masquerading their fixed-gear athleticism around McCarren Park. Shit, better yet, what if you could do both legs at once, no handed! We could call it the Amazing-No-Hands-Or-Legs trick or ANHOL.
That would provide some humorous situations:
"Hey bro, I was doing anhol tricks down Bedford yesterday and these chicks were totally diggin' the whole anhol show."
Or:
"Dude! That guy totally ate shit doing an anhol trick."
See, then it would only be natural for one to assume that person being referred to not only enjoys anal sex, and fecalphelia, but is possibly even an exhibitionist hooker. Though, dear readers, please use caution when utilizing accusations such as this; they tend to breed animosity and contempt. As a self-described pacifist, I cannot condone speech of this kind.
Moving right along, I was watching that depressing Documentary Overcoming, about Bjarne Riis, Team CSC, and all the personal crap that gets in the way of performing how you want to when you want to. Anyway, I chuckled to myself about how when Ivan Basso is really digging deep, he looks as though he's about to fall off his bike in a fit of laughter. I was pleased to see that my blogging muse, Bike Snob NYC, promptly and humorously made reference to this strange version of the grimace. I can't believe how damn happy he looks climbing the toughest climbs. It must be a psychological thing, as snobby pointed out, though from a different direction. Instead of making your adversaries think you are nothing to worry about by keeping your legs fuzzy or losing a wheel; you make them feel like pussies because you look like you're having about as hard of a time with the Alps as you would with the Manhattan Bridge. This is sheer brilliance. I'm gonna steal that technique and use it to "slay" the Cadence Cup cat 5 races next spring.
Speaking of the Manhattan Bridge, after crossing it into the city this morning, I noticed one of those expand-a-tent thingies they use at outdoor markets, shading a veritable oasis of breakfast stuff! Not one to pass up free grub, I stopped and filled my pockets with fruits and Clif Bars while making small talk with the young activist types manning the stand. Apparently I had completely forgotten that this beautiful day happened to be National "Bike To Work Day"!
Oh shit not TA again. I love the concept of an advocacy group fighting for cyclists rights, but I must admit, I take issue with a number of the things the Transportation Alternatives wants.
Firstly, Bike lanes.
While I would certainly miss bike lanes if they were suddenly beamed out of existence; for me they create more problems than they solve. As BS NYC and others have pointed out countless times, bike lanes fester dangerous obstacles to even the most experienced cyclist. Road debris collects there, making it a wonderful place to perforate your tires; police, delivery trucks, and cabs use it as the default "double parking lane"; and it's frequently used as a lead-off zone for impatient pedestrians.
This may sound crazy, but you are (and feel) considerably safer if you take a lane of traffic and aggressively dominate it, even alone. When you cower in the gutter you're effectively ceding the road to the cars and they see you for what you are: small, slow, and weak. Please don't go Rambo on the 6 o'clock traffic, but holding your own on an avenue is a necessary skill in this city.
This brings me to the other major beef I have with Transportation Alternatives' agenda. They suggest cyclists be meek and obey the letter of the law 100% of the time in order to effectively "set an example" and to show car-drivers that cyclists deserve their portion of the road as well. Just like the Bully in elementary school, problems like this aren't going to go away by winning drivers over with unflappable kindness and tact. They're going to go away by standing up for one's self in the face of bodily harm. Again, sounds like a rediculous statement, but its true.
This was brought to my attention again by a commenter (I hope you don't mind me using your words Bill, I couldn't state this better than you did) on snobby's site. he writes:
"...there is nothing that pisses me off more than this new 'we have to get them to like us/respect us by obeying the rules' shit...as if that really is what drivers respond to 'damn, i really like the way you stopped behind the line, i was going to cut you off, but now..."
Personally, I couldn't agree more. Be that as it may, Thanks for the breakfast TA, biking definitely beats taking the subway, where those disgruntled MTA workers take every opportunity they get to confuse straphangers, as I witnessed yesterday, when I was forced to take the iron horse instead of my aluminum steed:
Update - Sorry about the shades-of-grey text today. I can't figure out how to make it all one color and it's kind of annoying me so I'm just going to leave it.
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