...prunings

As I sipped a cup of my deliciously pretentious central-American artesian coffee this morning, I flipped through the Times, hunting diligently for any bike-related news in their paltry "Global Sports" section (the cycling portion of which curiously disappears when there aren't new stories, making it pretty annoying to hunt down past articles for reference).

Today, two stories were displayed at the very bottom of the page (after cricket, mind you). The second was an irritating read about how the UCI is once again treating pro cyclists like they're seventeen-year-old rehab rejects; but the first story was a nice, feel-good blurb describing this rehabilitation program they've got going over in France where incarcerated men and women have the opportunity to train for and ride the Tour de France course (or something near thereto).


They get those cool white kits, nice bikes, and a police escort the whole way (2,300km, or 1,400mi)! I guess its still a raw deal since they have to stay grouped together and breakaways are, of course, not allowed.


I think its a good move by the french penal system to use cycling to reinforce health and social skills among people it needs to reintroduce into the world. According to the article, they were able to leave the penitentiary twice a week for real-world road training and spent much of the rest of their abundant free time on trainers they have available to them. That sounds quite a bit more exciting than any jail I've ever heard of or been witness to.

And in other news....

Copenhagen, in its usual style, began implementing a bike-theft prevention program by issuing RFID tags to bike owners in hopes that stolen bicycles would be recovered faster and thieves might be deterred somewhat. Here's a video of Copenhagen's City Hall Square filled with cyclists of all shades (though townie bikes seem to rule the day) lined up in typical Nordic fashion waiting to get their chip.

Få en lille chip på from Kristian Foldager on Vimeo.

The video is quick and promotional so I may be mislead here, but are those tags held on by zip ties? Mikael at Copenhagenize mentioned something about the chips being disguised as reflectors, but still, as a paranoid American, I'm not going to have much faith that something which can be removed with a commonplace tool or swift kick will prove a greater problem to the average bike theif than a ten pound kryptonite.

Even if they hid those tags in all sorts of different components, It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to assume the rate of bikes being stripped would rise greatly. Plus, they're similar to EZtags in that you have to be within a certain radius for it to be detected by a special transmitter, so only specially equipped police would be able to tell if a bike was stolen. I think the best route to take here is have a GPS locator device mechanically attached to the inside of the frame or handlebars. It could be programmed to GPS enabled phones so that you can see where your bike is at all times, or at least where the part its attached to is.

In NY a stolen bike is frequently as good as gone, thanks in part to the aggressive "fixter" scene here than breeds contempt and elicits poor behavior from the police...

...keepin it real Thursdays

I've decided that in an effort to supply my few readers with a more regularized posting schedule, I'm going to start devoting Thursdays to the reporting of crashes, both spectacular and thought provoking. As all cyclists know, the mind has a tendency to wander and dwell upon things not immediately real. This frequently results in an unpleasant situation that quickly becomes as real as real can be. That said, enjoy watching the proverbial head roll, and keep your eyes on the road!


After being cut off by an SUV while cycling in central park, Brian Dooda got into a media frenzy. Gawker reports that after being maliciously cut off by a speeding SUV, Dooda caught up to the offending vehicle and demanded it slow down, as he was exceeding the park's 25mph speedlimit by a considerable amount. According to the report he gave the Police,

The driver then accelerated, lunging straight into me, knocking me and my bicycle to the ground and to the left side of his car. I quickly got to my feet and positioned myself in front of his vehicle to prevent him from fleeing the scene. I called out to bystanders to call the police and yelled at the driver that he was insane, he just hit me, and he can't leave. The driver again accelerated into me, with no intention of stopping, forcing me, prostrate, onto the drivers side hood of his vehicle. Riding precariously with a 4,000 lb wheel inches from pulling me beneath it, I screamed for the driver to "Stop!!! Please Stop!!" over and over. He continued to ignore my pleas for some 200ft. keeping a steady 5 or 10mph. He then stopped suddenly allowing me to fall off the side of the hood. Just as quickly as he stopped he violently accelerated again knocking me to the side. This time I managed to stay standing. The driver then sped off Northbound. At this point several witnesses came to my aid and reported his license plate.

So the license plate that they recorded the numbers of was also noted to be an "NYP" license plate, i.e. belonging to a member of the press. Relaying the ordeal to Gawker, Dooda joked that he must've been from Fox.

Ahem, here's the good part:

Upon further investigation the driver was identified as Don Broderick, a writer for Fox News! Wow, this really couldn't get any better if we tried...

Wait for it....

Apparently Broderick is also a former NYPost reporter!

Man this just gets better and better, not only is the most reviled news source in the western hemisphere calimant to the highest freaquency of SUV drivers, but they hire vengeful ones with crappy journalistic skills (need we remind ourselves of the Post's past tours de farce?)

Not being one to claim that cyclists are always in the right, I have to say that Brian made a mistake trying to subdue an SUV-driving maniac, expecting to be treated civilly (Mind you, it is safe to assume that those associated with Fox are the kind that when in disagreement about a subject, prefer idle threats of murder and the like to tactics of discussion and resolution). Dooda, maybe you should've just let it go.

Anyway, lets hope Broderick gets the book thrown at him.

...Ahh the times

The New York Times never ceases to amuse me. It may surprise you to find out that it is, in fact, not intended to be a humorous publication! Despite their best efforts at journalism, their correspondents and reporters are showing us all the true product of the American educational establishment.

One such example would be the ever-comical "Spokes" blog about cycling in New York. One of their more recent posts is about people who never learned to ride a bike, or learned as a child and then forgot, and are taking lessons out of embarrassment it seems. The techniques employed by the instructors range from the correct way to learn (getting on and pedaling), to strange methods such as removing the pedals and coasting downhill. Interestingly, the removing the pedals technique was cited as a way to first tackle the balance part before the students moved on to more complicated things like moving their legs.


Imagining middle aged people shakily rolling down a mild slope with maniacal grins simultaneously cracks me up and strikes me with utter fear.

Despite my reasonable amount of experience on a bicycle, and a recently acquired ability to ride in a perfectly straight line, unsteady cyclists scare the shit out of me and my knuckles turn white at the thought of their swelling numbers.

Another post on the Spokes blog is about the popularity of "beater bikes" that can be found at bike-swap meets around the city and people troll for a "$100 lock and $50 bike". I'm all about frugality and utilitarianism, but something about spending more on the lock than the bike doesn't quite compute...

However, Spokes did manage to break one hard-hitting story that is sure to shock and amaze all who read it.


update: i meant to write a tirade about this "study" a while back, but remembered to keep quiet if i couldn't think of anything nice (or funny) to say. Anyway, a related story ran in the NY Post a few weeks back but I neglected it because it seemed too easy to pick on and the Times does such a lovely job with their statistics and "research". Kyle Smith (by whom it is written) is one of those media figures that I just can't seem to figure out; is he seriously this close-minded or is it all an elaborate rouse to make naive people get their panties in a bunch?

In case you're trying to recall what impunity means, as I just did, you'll find the definition beguiling: im·pu·ni·ty - Exemption from punishment, penalty, or harm. I'm not sure how the game-of-death i like to call riding in manhattan exempts me from punishment, penalty, or harm... Really, I don't see it.

Ehh mediocrity subsists, I suppose.

Anyway, speaking of obvious failures, Gehry's stupid proposal for the Atlantic Yards stadium is being canned; though not because it looks like soupy shit, but because it would cost too much (dollars, not neighborhoods) to erect. Unfortunately for us all, this does not mean the Nets will stay in Jersey after all. No, the nonsense of team locations in the tri-state area continues unabated. Without a doubt, some of Brooklyn's most beautiful and historic areas will fall victim to the rapid influx of bridge-and-tunnel meatheads and their demand for overpriced sports/titty bars and SUV parking.


I guess it was a stretch to assume that Bruce Ratner of all people would have the decency to ditch Frank on principle alone. Gehry's "design ability" is in the gutter (it didn't start there?) and leads me to surmise that he too is riding on a wave of past successes and can no longer hack it.

Swing and a miss frankey-boy.