...Illustrative Friday Fun

This is to give you an idea of some of the art I've been checking out recently. Good stuff for the most part...

You may have noticed that I've started to put forth at least a minimum of effort in citing images and work on this blog. While I'm personally of the mind that things like art and technology are created 'pro bono' as they say in legal parlance, and are for common benefit, credit should be given where credit is due.

I've been slow to accept the garish 'colorways' that seem to dominate contemporary painting, graphic design, and illustrative fields; but I knew one day I would chance upon something that would pique my aesthetic sensibilities more than the crap the 'stream poops out.

(image used without permission from Francoise Nielly)

(image used without permission from Matt W. Moore)

(image used without permission from Gianluca Fallone via thecoolhunter.net)

(image used without permission from Kenji Hirata)

...oh no (and other things)

I recently stumbled across this frightening news about an amendment to bicycle road-use law in England. Apparently, due to the teeming British salmon populations, the government has relented and is allowing cyclists "to ignore no-entry signs"(aka ride against traffic) in an effort to promote cycling to people who are annoyed by having to ride an extra 500 feet to safely and legally arrive at their destination.

I have to say, encouraging cycling by allowing people to salmon is as good an idea as discouraging obesity by handing out free cocaine or promoting healthy eating habits by handing out fast food coupons.

My fear of bike-salmon, combined with the fast-approaching winter months, has led me to gain a considerable interest in Goldsprints. I always liked the idea of having a game to play or sport to watch when imbibing myself with booze at the local saloon, but never jived with the typical crowds at sports bars.

Thankfully, roller races and goldsprints offer marshmallows like me an opportunity to get wasted at a bar while watching a sport I actually give a shit about.

Here's how goldsprints typically look:

Goldsprints CMWC Tokyo from kymberly Perfetto on Vimeo.

Live-er than live coverage... Roller races can also be combined into strange indoor cyclocross races like this one Rapha put on a while back:

RAPHA Cross Roller Race - Oregon Manifest 2008 from RAPHA on Vimeo.

However, considering my aversion toward obstacles while cycling (which means cyclocross would only serve to piss me off) I might lash out in pavlovian fury when "racing" someone facing this scene:


Hey all you marshmallows! get outta the way, I'm trying to ride here!

Anyway, If you bothered to read through the article I linked above, you likely noticed that mention was made of bike-salmon appeasement in other European countries, which the English misguidedly took as a "standard."

Since New York City, Manhattan especially, is rife with euro-tourists possibly cycling, I feel it to be my duty to arm you with these handy phrases from some of our guests' native tongues.

• French: manière fausse, abruti!
• German: falsche weg, du arschloch!
• Spanish: ¡manera incorrecta, Baboso!
• Portugese: ¡caminho errado, imbecil!
• British: Kind sir, do try to mind the local traffic regulations; It would greatly please meh.
  

...the weekend madness (installment 11)

I'm not going to lie; aside from a swingin' good time at a friend's birthday party and ten token laps around Prospect Park, I really didn't do any good cycling this weekend...

Bike racers call all time on the bike not in a race or race-pace setting "junk miles". This apparently includes commuting, pleasure riding, running errands, etc... That in mind, I'm bummed to learn that about 70% of the miles I clock every week are "junk."

Of course, I take issue with the idea that any time spent on a bicycle could be junk - and by extension, worthless - especially when I'm enjoying a nice ride through previously unknown locales. That's why news like this makes my heart split in two:

Photo: Tom Reel, San Antonio Express News.

This is Kylie Bruehler, 7, at a memorial service for her parents. One day recently, they went out for a nice ride together on their tandem bike in Bexar Co. when they were struck from behind by a pickup truck and killed. The mother, Alexandra, died at the scene; and her husband, Gregory, died an hour after being airlifted to a hospital.

Ehh, I'm already getting a little choked up here.... read the "news story" about it here.

If you didn't bother to click that link you were about to miss the best part, but no worries, I'll relate it to you now:

Investigators say there are no charges on the driver. They believe this was an accident and that somehow the driver lost control of his truck.

One more time for impact "NO CHARGES ON THE DRIVER"

That's just salt on the emotional wounds this poor girl will carry for the rest of her life... Add insult to injury and this is what you get.

I'm not entirely sure how someone can either intentionally or unintentionally run down two people, drag them for over 200 feet, killing them, and get off totally free. 100 fucking percent blameless right? Maybe it's a Texas thing, though I'm not certain 'cause I'm from texas and I remember it to be a place fairly crawling with police, itching to issue citations for the most minor of infractions.

Maybe when it comes to something big or important they're left dumbstruck about what to do since they're too busy eating fucking donuts under overpasses waiting for someone to do 56 in a 55 on "their highway".

But of course, when the law abiding citizenry tries to curtail needlesss motorist/cyclist altercations by proposing a "safe passing distance law", and it passes both the house and senate with flying colors, you get dickheads like Rick Perry that'll just veto it because it's "unnecessary."

Score one for rednecks, now you can actually go all the way in running me off the road and not have to stop at screaming "faggot!" as you drive by... Don't worry, It'll be my fault that I was on the road you and only you pay taxes for, right?

Ignorance makes the bile flow upstream, like a salmon...