... back from the land of wherever

Happy holdays everybody. And happy new year as well, for that matter.

After a lengthy sabbatical from blogging, I have decided to return to posting about shit I find here or there that piques my interest or earns my ire. Of course that presupposes my having mountains of cool stuff worth looking at which (while perhaps I do now) is not always the case; especially after divulging it in large heaps on a daily basis.

Since my last post, I've had a life filled with both tumult and elation, though (for better or worse) more so of the tumultuous.

I spent Christmas in Washington State with the folks and opened some really great gifts between traipsing around the verdant wilderness of the northwest, which I must add, is just as foggy and moist as one would expect it to be.

The non-gift highlights of that trip were finally getting to see some of Seattle, including the Pike St. Market and the space needle.

 

Worth mentioning is the EMP/SFM. While its collections were totally rad, the "architecture" in which it was housed was bile-eliciting to say the least. I found it humorous that the first thing people said to me when I told them I wouldn't discuss my distaste of the building with them was, "It's supposed to look like a smashed guitar from above."

Fortunately for Frankie, it's adjacent to the space needle so that perspective is available, though I find it odd that one would design a thing to be viewed from another thing altogether.

This is certainly a topic for the Philosoraptor to tackle at some future date.

 

Anyway, returning to the city (new yorkers are so insular that they feel it unnecessary to preface 'city' with 'new york'), I turned my attention to several pressing matters that required my immediate attention, most importantly, the rapidly advancing first race of the [road] season.

Noting that my bicycle was in dire need of some sexification, I proceeded to spend countless hours at "work" perusing competitive cyclist (the most verbose and simultaneously selectively stocked bike-parts website), posting inane questions to bikeforums, and fantasizing about all sorts superfluous bells and whistles for my ride (as a figure of speech only, every roadie knows that bells are needlessly heavy and can easily be replaced by whistling.... with one's lips, that is).

Anyway, I'll save the bike-upgrade discussion for a later date, just wanted to say, "Hello, I'm back."

...Happy Thanksgiving to All or A Tribute to Curious Fishes

Since today is the national day for recalling why we're more fortunate than we would readily admit on "normal" days and food, I thought I'd regale you with a list of things I'm particularly thankful for in the past year...

1. My folks, The best parents a son could ask for! I have them to thank for just about everything, including, but not limited to: my love of bad jokes and even worse puns, an analytic frame of mind, putting up with flighty teenagers for fifteen years, paying for college, and having faith in me to pursue my own interests and convictions.

2. Mr. Bernard B. Bunn. Partner in crime and co-contributor to this blog, me and mr. B are tight like that... This little guy has been inked up since day one, that's how hardcore he is. But he's shy at times too, so I'll tell you what he's thankful for: pets on his nose and stick.

3. Friends. All of 'em. Sorry guys but y'all deserve a shout out as long as it's going: The whole houston crew; Mpshl, Tavern, David, James Bus, Jeff, Rowan, Erika, John Martin, Pillsfuck, "Cole", and all the cool kids from high school. The Brooklyn crew; Ica, Mo, Button, Walker, Heath, the new roomies, the Brooklyn Kubb League, Tina, Dylan, Benjy, Grambo, Mon, Nick, Chris, Brandon, Kenya, Serb, Jimmay, Eric, Nathan "El Maestro" Rodriguez, Chris (diff one), Phil, Marc, Josh, Emily, Jamie, Matt, Zach, Philip, Duffy, and everyone else I missed.

4. My trusty steed: El Diablo Negro

5. NYC, the Imperial City.

6. Architecture, for giving me something to obsess over. And Mexico...

7. Chance encounters with stunning beauty.

8. The Brooklyn Brewery, Frank Lloyd Wright coasters, and cycling caps (white-guy fro is pretty unattractive).

8. The Beach (and beer and Mexico again)

9. Prospect Park. I'm in the best shape of my life largely thanks to the existence of this awesome place. Never gets old.

10. Art, the Met, and Shenanigans (those silly greeks, always playing "got your head, whatcha gonna do about it?")

Lastly I thought it appropriate to thank those adversaries that stir me to action, namely, salmon. Here is a tribute to the salmon I've caught on camera in the past year. In some the salmoning is more difficult to notice than others but all are egregious infractions of directionality:

Sidewalk Salmon, king of morons.

Crippled Djembe Salmon

The elusive musical San Juan Salmon

Dolly salmon (and bike-salmon, if you look close)

Dismounting Salmon

Pedestrian Salmon (this is almost acceptible because only an idiot would use Times Square as the a quick way to go south by bike, and space is limited there to begin with)

Salmon morphing into regular cyclist at 29th and 6th.

Leatherhead Salmon

Legal Salmoning.

Well friends, I'm going to go figure out who's Thanksgiving I'm going to crash, and maybe settle on a turkey sandwich and a couple bottles of vino. Enjoy the grub today and ride safe, turkey is known for breeding lazy peddlers!

Also enjoy this submission to the "Biking Rules" PSA contest:

...the [two-week-long] madness (installment 13)

So after assuring you that I am officially back to tending the weedy garden that is this blog, I feel somewhat obligated to explain my rather lengthy hiatus from it with what few readers I may have left.

As I had mentioned some time ago, in an extraordinarily good turn of fortune for the firm I essentially embody one half of, we managed to finally secure paying work and as such all available time and efforts were directed at accomplishing our directive to a T.

Coupled with that daytime craziness, I also did two other things which are of some interest to this blog and pertain (at least loosely) to Cycling and/or New York City: First, I moved all of my worldly possessions out of my former residence and moved back to the ghetto.

Now don't get me wrong, Bed-Stuy has it's upsides; twenty-four hour liquor stores, bodegas-a-plenty, and "low rent" to name a few. However, it also sucks in many other less immediately-noticeable ways, like the consistently crummy meat selection among the pitifully few choices of supermarket.

At any rate, I'm staying around the corner from a G train stop now and have had one opportunity so far to witness the hipster (read: white people) inundation of Bed-Stuy firsthand... You see, when I first moved here some eight years ago as a naive college student, most of us knew that going north of Classon Avenue by any means other than taxi or subway was a pretty bad idea. Then two years later a few friends and I moved right to the technical border between Bed-Stuy and Clinton Hill (though real-estate agents like to consider it Fort Greene sometimes) and watched as we went from being an anomalie in that neighborhood to being the old hats that were 'cool' with the locals. Of course the barriers between race, religion, or status of brooklyn's denizens haven't disappeared, they just moved north a ways.

So I feel strangely comforted living here again, I know the 'hood and my new house rocks: pool table, laundry in the basement, backyard, dishwasher, cool peeps; you name it.

I also have a miniature bunny bernard to keep me company:


The second thing that kept me without time for the bloggin' was an architecture/design competition I entered into with some cats from the school days. The deadline hasn't yet passed, and the work doesn't belong to me solely, but if everyone is fine with it, I might do a post later this week with some of the images and a description of the system we designed. I can, however drop something I did that didn't end up getting used in our submission booklet:


A new idea for the massive shortage of physical bike-storage infrastructure in places like Copenhagen is to merely delineate an area of sidewalk or curb-space for amorphous bike parking. Our submission proposed a lit piece of 'intelligent' infrastructure that would keep watch over bikes in it's view...

Working on the project was a lot of fun and I always enjoy getting the creative juices flowing, though I have to say, working in a group has never been my thing. I'm one of those people that wants either complete control or a minimum of responsibility. Of course, that's a secret I'll never let any of my past, present, or future employers onto.

I kind of feel like one of those dogs that keep running their legs after they've been removed from the ground; my brain still operates like there isn't a moment to lose, but my hands can't find things to work on at a complementary rate.

To fill the void I've again taken up working out a complete portfolio for professional marketing (shoot me now), and cycling.

I had felt a little miffed because along with the very-seasonal weather this autumn, my schedule prevented me from putting down the miles I normally would over the weekends and in the evenings... I think my most recent weekly total was on the order of 70 miles, due largely to the fact that my new residence is a good mile and a half closer to work, shaving three miles each day and fifteen miles a week off of that total. Now that I'm a hop, skip, and a jump away from everything I give a damn about in Brooklyn, most of my trips by bike are less than a couple of miles.

Though not all is bad on the cycling front; now that I take the Williamsburg bridge on my commute in, my legs are getting beefier and beefier from climbing the south-side ramp as a shortcut toward Manhattan each day. Also, riding that particular bridge affords me the opportunity to observe hipster 'culture' "on the ground," as they say in journalistic parlance.

But hipsters are known to be skittish of other cyclists and bikes, particularly those with both good bike handling skills, multiple gear ratios, or uncoordinated 'colorways'; so I decided to disguise my road bike by outfitting it with this bad boy in the carbon materialway:


Yeeeeah, thats right; that's a HED3. on my bike. for real.


After a harrowing crash into a hasidic child last weekend, I completely cleaned and fixed the bike so it's tip-top again, and this tri-spoke looks killer on it and is the perfect addition to my ride.

I must admit that while I really wish I did, I didn't actually purchase this wheel; I'm borrowing it from a friend who seems to be delighfully unconcerned that I'm zipping around on something that costs nearly as much as the bike itself.

Maybe after a week or so of riding the HED I'll have a better idea of it's pros and cons, but after a couple hours on it so far, I can see why people drop serious cash on carbon wheels; the ride is remarkably supple and yet the steering is incredibly snappy and responsive. The only downside I have yet percieved is that the wide spoke blades catch cross breezes like theres no tomorrow and since its so damn light, a strong East River gust could put you off course if you're not careful.

I think my favourite part of riding with this wheel is that it makes cool and intimidating noises depending on the air movement around it; in a crosswind going very fast it sounds like a muffled helicopter, though still quite audible (thp-thp-thp). With a headwind the chopping noise gets a little louder until you reach a certain speed where you can literally feel the wheel begin to knife the air in two.

Literally... that's not an exaggeration, this thing cuts the air like marshmallows get mugged in Bed-Stuy -

fast-n-easy

...the weekend sanity (installment 7)

I really didn't do much of anything this weekend. My boss doesn't feel it's necessary to pay me on time anymore and the moohare was up in Boston, so I was at a loss for what to do with my scarce funds and ample free-time.

I joined a (different) few friends who were biking up to go camping on Bear Mountain on Saturday morning and accompanied them as far as Nyack, not wanting to get back to Brooklyn too late. I have to say one of the weirdest feelings I've felt recently was when I rode back through Manhattan on that Saturday night after having biked over a hundred miles to Bear Mountain and back. I've never felt so out of place as I did looking haggard and dripping sweat at traffic lights in the village, as perfumed young socialites and wannabe players strutted by.

The ride through New Jersey was the same as it always is, so I opted to forgo bringing the camera since it would just be a reiteration of previous posts. However, Instead of taking the Williamsburg bridge, as I had on past trips, we used the Manhattan Bridge and cut across Soho to the WSH. We rode from Bed-Stuy along Flushing toward Dumbo, passing the impound lot and turning onto Sands st.

The last time I rode on any of these streets, they were either in complete disrepair or under construction (which is frequently worse for cyclists than simply dealing with the crappy roads). For that reason, I usually commute from Prospect Heights, where I live, through downtown Brooklyn to access the bridges. That route has become a force-of-habit and my commute is getting to be a little stale; so to shake things up a bit, I took a fairly different route this morning in order to present this double-edition BLRI!!!!

As I do most every day, I rode Vanderbilt Avenue northbound after turning off of my picturesque, brownstone-lined slice of Brooklyn. I usually opt to use this avenue at the outset of most of my trips by bicycle because it boasts both well-maintained bike lanes and conscientious pedestrians. It should be noted, however, that the amicability of the locals and light traffic seem to breed salmon (especially of the sidewalk variety).

Despite the infestation of idiots, Vanderbilt is a great street to ride, especially given the new Brooklyn Bike and Board shop between Bergen and Dean which enjoys a steady flow of business from weekend warriors, displaced hipsters, and commuters alike (and which was the subject of a recent LBSR).


Continuing across Atlantic Avenue, the bike lane sadly disappears and one must forcefully seize a lane from the clutches of vile Livery cars. The road quality is dramatically lower than before despite passing through what is in my opinion, one of Brooklyn's most beautiful neighborhoods, Fort Greene.


While I'm no fan of Neo-Gothic 'Architecture,' I've always enjoyed having silly buildings (like this private school) in and around my neighborhood, if for no better reason than to have something to joke about. It's useful in the way those kitschy Urban Outfitters trinkets are; a springboard for sematic debates about the rediculousness of consumerism and the wayward souls who are comforted by it.

Continuing past the BQE toward the Brooklyn Navy Yard, I was surprised to see a motorcycle shop x vespa dealership collabo (I'll be damned, they're growing in popularity):


It is my opinion that while scooters are a more reasonable choice of transport in congested cities than cars are; their continued use of gasoline and the haughty sense of self-righteousness they foster in their owners are just plain bad for society. (OK, I started to go off on a tangent about how much scooter-ers bug me, so I'm gonna reserve that for a later post).

After passing the police impound lot on Navy St, I turned onto Sands St. which has been wonderfully re-designed as the most bicycle conscious street NYC has presented me with! For that reason, this street will hold top-slot as the only A+ I will ever issue (unless if course this becomes the norm and then there's just no point in continuing the BLRI except to bitch).


I can't believe we actually have this kind of bike lane in Brooklyn! These are without a doubt the best kind (I bet Arup designed it)! As far as I know (and I bike a lot) this is the first of it's kind in NYC, as it is a noticeably brand-spankin'-new iteration of what has been done for years in places like Copenhagen.

Sands St., though a measly two blocks in length, has been transformed into what is arguably the best solution for cyclist - motorist altercations. Notice how the bike lanes are separated by a median and are located at the center of the road instead of in the door-swing range of parked cars. Also note (if you can) that the bike lanes, median, and stripey area are elevated about 6 inches above the car's lane. This is exactly what needs to be done with all streets to quell the incessant bickering between cabbies (who of course need to drop off and pick up passengers somewhere) and the cyclists they routinely cut off.

Unfortunately, most streets here are one way (despite what one would gather from the bourgoning salmon population) and despite its simplicity, this method of bike-lane separation may not work everywhere.

Continuing over the bridge and up through the city along my usual route, I decided that in the day's spirit of new routes, I'd try to ride up Park Ave instead of turning on 13th and taking 6th Ave as I normally would. I had tried this the very first day I commuted to work by bike and didn't have the grapes to try it again, though I was much less experienced with cycling in Manhattan at that point.

Now that I'm a bona-fide city cyclist, Park Avenue seemed like a walk in the park compared to 6th Ave (which you'll remember was recently awarded the BLRI rating of F), despite not having any bicycle designations or markings.

I think as long as you're comfortable riding between cars at around 20 mph Park Ave is definitely safer than using the 'bike lane' on 6th or the dumb separated paths on 8th or 10th. Speaking of which, has anyone else noticed that there are virtually no good bike-paths to take you downtown?

Until next time friends, mind the traffic.

...Video Wednesdays

I'm in a pensive mood today, juggling work on two fronts while attempting to instigate a professional change-of-venue. I'm worried that getting away from the practice of architecture may be slightly damaging to my resume, however the employment I currently 'enjoy', leaves much to be desired on many levels, and gainful it is not.

With a little luck, I can segue my skills at spatial comprehension and the fine art of tinkering into a stint as a bicycle mechanic. Somehow I've got to logically weigh the pro's and con's of both moving away from the profession for which I was trained though am rather unhappy in, and transforming yet another hobby into a job, risking my lust for cycling.

I suppose that is the risk with every job; you can't do something you hate, but then again, if you love it too much, it will invariably end up offending your principles, causing you to become disillusioned and subsequently unpleasant to work with.

On the flip side, I can't help vain-glorious fantasies from clouding my judgment somewhat. When I dream of having a bicycle-centric job, it looks something like this:



Alas, I'm well aware that the reality is far from this idealized world of merino jerseys and syncopated arm-flailing. I have no delusions of grandeur (that my vast intelligence has made me aware of, anyway) about a job fixing and building bicycles, so I can only deduce that it must go something like this:



While I mull over the merits of such a selfless profession, I'll leave you with this video, which portrays my pensiveness about such a transition:



(As it happens, I once designed a laboratory for the mountain he's leaping off of, next to the Mardalsfossen, one of the highest waterfalls in europe.)

...trolling the net

As I've said before, due in part to the sad state of the financial sector, I spend much of my time at "work" surfing online, keeping tabs on the ridiculousness of the world we live with. Thus, I routinely dedicate at least a solid hour of my day to reading and finding good blogs in the other world we occupy.

Some that I read most frequently can be found to your right, below pitifully small list of followers.

To be frank, all bloggers eventually write something that just rubs me the wrong way. If the issue is one that I am empassioned about, and the offending words were composed just so, I have a hard time ever reading that blog again. And in the continued spirit of frankness, BLDG BLOG is a good example; I find what it reports on/about reasonably interesting, but because its an architecture-centric blog by a dude from LA, I doubt I'll ever again muster the fortitude to read his blog which is known to be rife with glowing appraisals of my arch-nemesis...


One that I return to at least weekly is Copenhagenize, a blog which, I surmise, is dedicated to cycling news in Copenhagen. I must confess, I found and read this blog the first 10 or so times more so because I'm Danish and really like Copenhagen as a city, than due to its subject matter or opinion. Now I read the blog cause I've found that, unlike Its sister site, Copenhagen Cycle Chic (which is starting to really bug me for some reason), Copenhagenize is more geared toward advocacy and cyclist's issues, not just in Danmark, but the world over, which piques my curiosity.

Anywho, the subject of today's post at Copenhagenize tests the limits of rediculosity. According to The Daily Camera (which I've never heard of 'til just now) , a new law in colorado is being put into effect that essentially raises the penalties for motorists that behave maliciously toward cyclists.

In wording, I think it essentially brings them to where we are in New York with road-sharing rules. Among the rights cyclists in New York enjoy are: the right to not ride in the shoulder or bike lane if it is deemed unsafe by the cyclist. This means that because the bike lane is, as i've said before, the worst place on the road to ride a bike, you have the ability to take a lane over by riding in the middle of it.


Apparently because cyclists are being afforded rights to life and liberty, one maniacal resident of Boulder, CO is trying to organize a car sit-in of sorts, calling on residents along the route of a popular colorado century ride to drive slowly and "break down" along a designated stretch of the ride, in effort to annoy the cyclists and i guess "give 'em a taste of their own medicine".

“On July 25, in celebration of driver’s rights, many cars will use the Left Hand Canyon Road, drive slowly and many may break down unexpectedly, blocking areas to the cyclists on the return leg of the ‘Sunrise Century,’” the anonymous, one-page note reads. “Many cars and safe drivers all working together can send a message to the Statehouse to restrict cycling on our roads which are our only alternatives during family emergencies, commuting and required duties.”

So let me get this straight, they intend to block traffic to "send a message" about needing the road clear of what they regard to be obstacles?? Forgive my levity, but that's about as smart of a plan as you could expect from those suburban morons, most aren't clever enough to see how self defeating something like that is.

Then again, its not all peaches and cream for cyclists in Australia, their government has just enacted laws that significantly raise the penalties for "rouge riders" that cause problems.

"The maximum penalties under the new act include:
Dangerous riding - $13,610 or prison for twelve months or both.
Careless riding of a bike - $681 for a first offence and $1361 for a subsequent offence
If a person is killed or seriously injured by a cyclist and the rider has not immediately stopped and offered assistance - $68,052 or five years in prison IF property is damaged by a cyclist and the rider has not immediately stopped and offered assistance - $284 or seven days in prison for a first offence and $567 or prison for between seven and 14 days for a subsequent offence."

I totally agree that people have to be held accountable for their actions and most of these laws sound quite fair and even-handed, with the exception being the nearly $14k fine for "dangerous riding." I only hope that the fine would be imposed on a cyclist because they actually did something really fucking dumb and casued injury to someone or something; and not for simply being a cyclist unfortunate enough to run into a hard-ass, bike-hating cop. Maybe the risk of that is lower in Victoria, but in NYC, a law like that would just be another obvious attempt by the Bloomberg administration to have the poorest societal strata pay down the public debts incurred by the city's wealthiest.

Also worth a look is this crazy altercation between a toronto bike courier and a littering motorist. An old article but daaaaaaaamn, people need to chill the fuck out... seriously.

Stay calm, friends, and ride drama-free this weekend!

...Ahh the times

The New York Times never ceases to amuse me. It may surprise you to find out that it is, in fact, not intended to be a humorous publication! Despite their best efforts at journalism, their correspondents and reporters are showing us all the true product of the American educational establishment.

One such example would be the ever-comical "Spokes" blog about cycling in New York. One of their more recent posts is about people who never learned to ride a bike, or learned as a child and then forgot, and are taking lessons out of embarrassment it seems. The techniques employed by the instructors range from the correct way to learn (getting on and pedaling), to strange methods such as removing the pedals and coasting downhill. Interestingly, the removing the pedals technique was cited as a way to first tackle the balance part before the students moved on to more complicated things like moving their legs.


Imagining middle aged people shakily rolling down a mild slope with maniacal grins simultaneously cracks me up and strikes me with utter fear.

Despite my reasonable amount of experience on a bicycle, and a recently acquired ability to ride in a perfectly straight line, unsteady cyclists scare the shit out of me and my knuckles turn white at the thought of their swelling numbers.

Another post on the Spokes blog is about the popularity of "beater bikes" that can be found at bike-swap meets around the city and people troll for a "$100 lock and $50 bike". I'm all about frugality and utilitarianism, but something about spending more on the lock than the bike doesn't quite compute...

However, Spokes did manage to break one hard-hitting story that is sure to shock and amaze all who read it.


update: i meant to write a tirade about this "study" a while back, but remembered to keep quiet if i couldn't think of anything nice (or funny) to say. Anyway, a related story ran in the NY Post a few weeks back but I neglected it because it seemed too easy to pick on and the Times does such a lovely job with their statistics and "research". Kyle Smith (by whom it is written) is one of those media figures that I just can't seem to figure out; is he seriously this close-minded or is it all an elaborate rouse to make naive people get their panties in a bunch?

In case you're trying to recall what impunity means, as I just did, you'll find the definition beguiling: im·pu·ni·ty - Exemption from punishment, penalty, or harm. I'm not sure how the game-of-death i like to call riding in manhattan exempts me from punishment, penalty, or harm... Really, I don't see it.

Ehh mediocrity subsists, I suppose.

Anyway, speaking of obvious failures, Gehry's stupid proposal for the Atlantic Yards stadium is being canned; though not because it looks like soupy shit, but because it would cost too much (dollars, not neighborhoods) to erect. Unfortunately for us all, this does not mean the Nets will stay in Jersey after all. No, the nonsense of team locations in the tri-state area continues unabated. Without a doubt, some of Brooklyn's most beautiful and historic areas will fall victim to the rapid influx of bridge-and-tunnel meatheads and their demand for overpriced sports/titty bars and SUV parking.


I guess it was a stretch to assume that Bruce Ratner of all people would have the decency to ditch Frank on principle alone. Gehry's "design ability" is in the gutter (it didn't start there?) and leads me to surmise that he too is riding on a wave of past successes and can no longer hack it.

Swing and a miss frankey-boy.

...trolling the net

Here's what I've been looking at today:

1. Steel Sheet Tea House by Ks Architects:
   
   
   
   
   
2. Video of bridge demolition set to Opera, via youtube:
   
   
3. A funny web comic about a range of topics. witty and sardonic:
   
   
4. "Pedaling Revolution", a new book about bicycle advocacy and reception in the US. By Jeff Mapes and reviewed By David Byrne for the New York Times. Incidentally, Byrne's own bike-centric prose is due to hit shelves soon under the name "Bicycle Diaries". You can find the article here