...pretty little things

So unfortunately I got a call Tuesday around noon from NYC Velo saying that my parts were delayed yet again, and that they had to order them from another distributor... According to their latest account of the situation, they should be here today. I'm going to see if they can knock the tax or something off for making me wait three times longer than I had intended.

In other news, I got an e-mail from Rapha this morning inviting me to join them on a gentleman's race at 7:30 am on Sunday, February 28th. Since I'm all about epic rides and rapha in general, I'd totally be there with socks on, except for the problem that it takes place in Richmond VA.

Why Virginia, you ask? Well Rapha and countless others are descending on the town for the North American Handmade Bicycle Show (NAHBS) next week. Needless to say, handmade bikes make mass-produced ones look tired and boring:

Rear Dropout from Signal Cycles' Rapha Continental Bike

Engin City Bike by Engin Cycles 

 

Headtube Badge from Signal Cycles' Rapha Continental Bike

Sol Vista by Black Sheep Bikes

Track Bike by Villin Cycleworks

Rumspringa Cyclocross Bike by Courage Bicycles

I'm sure if I was able to make it all the way down there on such short notice, It'd be an awesome time; though I think journalism is best left to journalists, photography to photographers; as the wanton reappropriation of copyrighted material is best left to bloggers. (Just to be clear, I do feel bad using other people's photos without permission, but they'd probably want money and I figure this is free fuckin' advertizing anyway, so I'm faultless here... Shit; how many of you would've known about Signal, Engin, Courage, Black Sheep, etc... if I hadn't just linked you to them, hmm?)

Speaking of blogs, while wasting time on facebook just now, I came across a great photo of a friend taken by someone who seems to be a rather accomplished photographer.

Just spent half an hour diggin' her stuff.

Hopefully tomorrow the new parts will be installed and I can demonstrate to you how my photographic skills pale in comparison to the above...

Bye bye

...Illustrative Friday Fun

This is to give you an idea of some of the art I've been checking out recently. Good stuff for the most part...

You may have noticed that I've started to put forth at least a minimum of effort in citing images and work on this blog. While I'm personally of the mind that things like art and technology are created 'pro bono' as they say in legal parlance, and are for common benefit, credit should be given where credit is due.

I've been slow to accept the garish 'colorways' that seem to dominate contemporary painting, graphic design, and illustrative fields; but I knew one day I would chance upon something that would pique my aesthetic sensibilities more than the crap the 'stream poops out.

(image used without permission from Francoise Nielly)

(image used without permission from Matt W. Moore)

(image used without permission from Gianluca Fallone via thecoolhunter.net)

(image used without permission from Kenji Hirata)

...you gotta be kidding me

It seems the universe has been teasing me lately by dangling tantalizing possibilities in front of me and then letting reality snatch it away just as I reach out for it...

I know it still too early to tell, but I'm a little worried that I haven't heard anything from the construction company I had interviewed with last Friday. I fear that I'll forever be stuck in this unproductive rut and also that as the first to feel the effects of a failing economy, the architecture industry will likewise be the very last to recover from it.

Considering the tenuous nature of my current employment, I can't be too cavalier about spending my paychecks (when I get them) on things that aren't absolutely essential. That's why when browsing the bikes section of Craigslist last night, seeing this bad boy on sale severely depressed me.


At first I thought the posting was surely a mistake because nobody in their right mind would be hawking an S-Works track frame for a measly $380.

In a fit of excitement I e-mailed the owner who reaffirmed the price to me and offered I take a look at it tonight as it had not yet sold. Realizing blowing nearly $400 on a track frame that has no possibility of accepting brakes of any kind just a few months before winter might not be the smartest move, I let this deal go...

Still curious about how much a nice bike like this costs, I consulted BikePedia, where I learned that the complete build from Specialized retailed for $3,800 in 2007.


Of course the red bike, unlike the black version above, is being sold without the Zipp 404 wheelset, drivetrain, seat, or handlebars, but its going for only 10% of the MSRP.

If I owned this bike, instead of trashing it on the street by flying around recklessly, I'd use it on the track next spring and sign up for a track racing class at the Kissena Velodrome; which pretty much means if I did have the grapes to blow $400 today, it would just sit on my wall for the next six months, teasing me.

The irony didn't stop there, it seemed, because this morning I saw this thing "chained" to a light post outside the office.


Yep, that's right... a Strida spotted in the wild. I have to admit I had doubts that anyone would ever actually purchase one, much less ride it around. Though I suppose folding bikes are all the rage among commuters recently, I always assumed this thing would go the route of the penny farthing, an antiquated symbol of the days of yore when cycling hadn't yet matured into its present form.

I must applaud the owner of this triangle-with-wheels for continuing the spirit of irony by not only locking the compactable bike outside, but doing so with the puniest lock and chain I've ever seen on a bike.


Though the chain is square-section and cloth covered like every hipster's favorite theft prevention device, this chain is curiously in proportion to the miniscule Strida it supposedly protects from theft.

...Not that anyone would go out of their way to steal this bike anyway; shit, I bet you could leave it completely unlocked and it would sit there untouched except in the case of a passing leprachaun, (which, strangely, is the only character I could imagine seeing atop it without chuckling to myself for hours).

Anyway, bike trends could definitely be a lot worse, as evidenced by this day-glo monstrosity I spotted on CWMD the other day.


I'm not 100% certain what the deal is with the 650c front wheel or if this bike is even rideable, but I've been seeing more and more set ups like this on fixed-gear blogs such as prolly, tracko, and FGG.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun with my criticism, but unless that set up is specifically for riding at the velodrome, this bike not only looks retarded with it's BBC/Ice cream shop 'colorway', but looks equally uncomfortable. This bike is to track racing as funny cars are to drag racing.

I wonder what they'll come up with next...

...the weekend madness (installment 8)

Boy it was a wet one this weekend; Friday saw me tromp through the rain on the rugged streets of LIC's waterfront to that interview I mentioned last week; and of course since I want the job, I needed to arrive looking presentable which, combined with the all-day downpours, necessitated taking the subway again.

Needless to say, I was getting tired of being forced indoors by the time Saturday rolled around, so a few of us braved the drizzling rain and went down to Red Hook where the cool breeze and soggy atmosphere lent a Homer-esque mood to the day (Homer as in this, not this; just to be clear).


I only wish my new Rapha cycling cap (aka breeze-induced-fro prevention device) had come in the mail earlier so I could have appeared all poignantly grey-scaled against the solemn maritime backdrop, much in the way Rapha depicts their products in use.


If you're not familiar with Rapha or their products, they claim to make "the finest in cycling clothing in the world..." and while I haven't yet tested the worth of that claim, I do know that they're one of the very few companies a cyclist like myself can turn to for reasonable cycling gear that doesn't make you into a rolling billboard for enterprises you have no stake in or reason to support.

However they do make it a point to advertise with seductive photography and the organization of "gentlemen's races" around the country wherein eleven teams of six rider compete on an open course (meaning cars, uncontrolled intersections, etc..) in a picturesque environment.

Here's a video of the gentlemen's race in New Paltz NY earlier this year...

Rapha Gentlemen's Race - New Paltz, NY from RAPHA on Vimeo.

I find it interesting that while it's been dubbed a "gentlemen's race" the brusquely competitive reputation of New Easterners precedes them even in what is essentially a for-fun race. I've taken note of this as well when I do laps at the parks or ride up to Nyack, as I did again this weekend.

The "me first" attitude of New Yorkers really bugs me sometimes and becomes really obvious when coupled with the seemingly grouchy nature of roadies in general. When I first started riding seriously, I definitely got my fair share of 'asshole roadies' yelling at me to hold my line or shooting me disapproving glances for other reasons I couldn't figure.

Now, having ridden quite a bit with cyclists of all types, I've found that not only are the curmudgeonly racers right, they're justified in letting you know. One has to respect the fact that everyone rides a bike for an entirely different reason; some do it as a random leisure activity, others do it strictly for fitness, and others still do it simply to travel pleasantly from place to place.

Roadies gripe at other "less serious" cyclists not so much because of some haughty self righteousness, but because the majority of people on bikes in the US have absolutely no idea how to operate one and as such, present a danger to those who do. If all cyclists observed but a few frequently forgone rules of the road, everyone would be much happier.

1. Ride right, pass left: you'd be surprised at how many apparently "experienced" cyclists can't follow this simple rule... If you feel like you're being overtaken a lot, you need to be on the rightmost side of the path because you're slow. Deal with it or ride faster.
2. Don't pass-n'-stop: If you are riding behind someone you'd like to pass, make sure you're not going to have to slam on the brakes right after you overtake them, cause doing that's just mean.
3. Make your intentions known: Hand signals, yelling, eye contact, whatever... the prime cause of enraged roadies is being cut off or run into by someone going half their speed without so much as a glance over their shoulder to check for overtaking cyclists.
4. No half-wheeling: This is more of an etiquette thing, but it's also extremely dangerous to have your front wheel overlapping another cyclist's rear wheel... If sudden movements are made, you're both going down. If you want to chat with someone, ride directly side by side. that in mind,
   
5. No jerky movements: If you are riding around other bikers, sometimes you have to just accept rolling over that manhole cover or pothole you'd normally swerve around. Keep a straight line whenever possible.

What I'm proposing here isn't that everyone accommodate the customs a select few riders, but that we all be courteous to our neighbors. Since in this country we're brought up believing that bicycles are more toys than anything else, this can be framed as simply good sportsmanship.

Bad sportsmanship is not only ungentlemanly and distasteful, but can really damage your performance as evidenced by Serena Williams' tirade yesterday (justified as it may have been). Right or wrong aside, there's no appropriate excuse for hindering the pursuits of others for personal convenience or aspiration.


Obviously doping tops the list of unsportsmanlike conduct because it obscures the successes of clean athletes, but unsporting behavior also applies to social decorum. Kanye West and Rep. Joe Wilson are the most recent examples of this and they would do well to aspire toward more gentlemanly conduct in the future.

For this reason I applaud Rapha in their campaign to bring a level of civility and normalcy to the often neon-logoed world of competitive cycling. Perhaps more cyclists will don classy, logo-free gear (assuming they can afford it) and perhaps the growing interest in tweed garb will usher in a new era of cycling dandiness where the bicycle isn't shunned as a dirty, childish, or pedestrian (in the social sense) way to perambulate.

(On that note, be sure to peruse the photography at Velodramatic for more poetic visions of road cycling in the Rapha vein by a staunch fan of theirs)

Til' next time remember, nothings more stylish than the mild-mannered confidence of a pro in control...

... notariety!

Wow, unlike last week and the week before, these past few days have shaped up to be a bit more interesting than usual. The weather has become cloudy and dour, reminding me of the autumnal Septembers of my youth, back when the planet wasn't in quite as dramatic ecological decline.

Though the cozy colors of fall haven't yet shown themselves, I notice the weather turning cooler and the mornings becoming noticeably chillier... Hopefully we'll have a broader transition between oppressive heat and cutting cold this year than years past, though one can only hope. If we do get a gradient of weather that carries us predictably into winter, I've got at least a few more months that I can ride the Allez to and from work comfortably.

Riding through rain, sleet, or snow for months on end isn't something I'd really want to subject any mechanical device to, so naturally I've been flirting with the idea of buying a beater to get to and from work on and run errands in an effort to protect the road bike from less than ideal weather and temperatures. Since I'm not made of money like many cyclists are, I can't really afford anything that won't annoy the crap out of me without the replacement of a lot of parts, at which point I would honestly be better off just buying a built-up used frame from an LBS like BByB.

Fortunately for these apprehensions, I discovered a promotion by Specialized for their new brand Globe, which is geared (pun very much intended) toward urban commuters.


It seems that in an effort to generate grass-roots publicity, they're [loaning?] bikes to bloggers in exchange for being mentioned in posts a couple times per week. Of course, seeing as I now ride my bike seven days a week, that would be as easy as being a corrupt police official in New York.

You're supposed to post a link to your blog on their facebook page and show an interest in cycling to some degree which struck me as a deviously clever scheme to get "fans" of their company who have yet to actually try their product by cornering the facebooking crowd (thats basically everyone these days right?).

Anyway, seeing an opportunity to break into the time honored blogging tradition of reviewing stuff for companies, I of course became a fan of globe bikes and posted a link to here on their wall along with zillions of other bloggers and bloggers-to-be. Then this morning I logged in to facebook only to find that Globe bikes finds JSYNYC to be a "Cool blog."


They went on to say that they'll be making their decisions soon (if that was obscured by my excitement) and I do hope they let me review one of their new rides. Of course, I wonder which variety of "urban bike" (which for some reason translates into single-speed these days) they'll pair me with should they deem my posts conducive to their pandering.

Anyway, if they read this or not, I'll say right now that the free bike is going to be the default bad weather bike and the Allez will stay high and dry in the apartment. I'm sure they expect the bikes to come back with some amount of wear, because to properly understand the strengths and limitations of any product, one has to use the hell out of it. I think carting me to and from work on salty streets is about as much abuse as any bike could get, especially considering I ride hard enough to wear through a brand new chain in less than a year...

They might front me one of these dapper looking be-racked bikes which comprise the majority of their lineup:



I don't know if I'll be using it as beach furniture or for hauling casement windows, but I do have a very real need for added carrying capacity that will be much needed in coming months. However, I kind of hope to get one of the "Roll" bikes that appear to have a more aggresive frame geometry than the slow pedalers above, even though they're cheesily pre-fab single speeds.


It boasts a flip-flop hub for when you decide you're skilled enough to ride fixed, and white tires for added style. Also, I'm proud to announce that they offer this frame in "kiwi" which looks to be pretty darn close to the BADA55 'colorway' that I use to point things out or grade bike lanes on this blog. While I'm not one to be loud and outgoing about my clothing or accouterments, I think it would be magnificently ironic if I pedaled around on a garishly painted green bike as opposed to my usual black and white bike (oddly, they also offer the Roll in the ghost-bike 'colorway' as well, though that seems a little morbid to me).

Anyway, heres hoping I get a bike worth the trouble of twice a week saying "...so I rode the Globe in today..." And if you post semi-regularly, I encourage you to benefit from the marketing ploys of bike companies as well; one can never own too many bikes.

...SHIMANO!

Amid all the loud, annoying nonsense this weekend past, I staved off extreme boredom by buying more new shit!

I had noticed that my chain was wearing down after the daily abuse I put it through, so on Sunday I went and got a Shimano Hyperglide chain as a replacement for my previous stock one.


Again, after consulting the late Sheldon Brown, I came away with a deep understanding of the finer points of drive train maintenance and theory. One of the most profound statements I've ever heard regarding shift quality is that your derailleurs don't do the shifting, the chain does. At first this seems a little odd, because surely the sole function of a derailleur is to shift gears right?

If you think it through, what the derailleur does is move the chain so that it can shift gears by hopping up or down the cassette to an adjacent sprocket. Thusly, the chain is where all of the actual shifting of gears takes place, and verily, it is frequently the culprit of many of the discomforts of a well-used bicycle.

Taking this advice to heart, I bought and installed the highest-end chain available; which at a measly $45 is one of the best places to spend the extra buck on your bike. I immediately noticed a profound improvement in my shifting thanks to Shimano's latest technological advances.

Their brilliant engineers have developed a kind of chain that can shift very quietly and smoothly under full power, as opposed to having to let up a little on the pedals as in older drive train setups. In order to further facilitate smooth shifting, they also developed Hyperglide cassettes with oddly shaped sprockets that appear to be broken or missing teeth, though are carefully engineered to quietly accept the chain as it moves from sprocket to sprocket.

This is probably one of the most overlooked aspects of bicycles since chains are usually grease-covered pant-leg enemies, though many similarly discreet advancements have been made by Shimano and have since become standard fare in bike componentry.

Having read up on the curmudgeonly Campagnolo and their famed snootiness, I have developed quite a bit of respect for Shimano as a multi-national corporation. Most innovations in any technical field are introduced in the "top-down" manner, where the latest improvements are available only on the most ridiculously expensive components until they gain notoriety. These improvements then eventually trickle down to the lower end components that regular people like me can afford until they are proclaimed "industry standards".

Shimano worked in the opposite way for many many years, where they focused on using heavier and cheaper materials to focus on improving the basic functions of drivetrains. If the innovations caught on (and they did) they would bring it to their more finely crafted and expensive products to cater toward those concerned with outright performance.

Using this marketing strategy they've introduced and continue to manufacture the very best in modern cycling equipment such as Shimano Total Integration (STI) brake/shift levers, Shimano Pedaling Dynamics (SPD) clipless pedals, Shimano Linear Response (SLR) brakes, Freehubs, etc...

Basically everything that you take for granted while riding is thanks to Shimano and their egalitarian business practices.

Then again, some people like to paint themselves as 'purists', rejecting anything that dares challenge the good name of Campagnolo. Personally, however, I am a staunch Shimano customer and Campy parts are as welcome on my bike as Obama is in middle-American classrooms.


(Oh yeah, I just discovered that true-to-form, Campy is copying Shimano's new electronic shifting with their own version... way to innovate, huh?)

...all about tires

As you may or may not know, I recently bought a new set of tires for my bicycle. I went to Ride Brooklyn for my purchase and was again quite satisfied with the level of service and selection there.

See, when I need to buy something bike related (which is surprisingly often), I sort of go on auto pilot on my evening commute, first trying Bicycle Habitat which I think suffers as the most widely known bike shop in the city. Every time I go there I have to wait around forever to learn that they don't have what I want, and this experience was no different. Not only did they not have the tires I was hoping to get, they didn't have a single matching set of 700x23's, which is pretty lame for such a big and supposedly "well-stocked" bike shop.

If I don't find what I'm looking for there (which is frequently) I'll stop by Toga in downtown and see what they've got. Though they usually have a broad inventory, I always get the feeling that I'm getting shafted a little when I go there. So often I just leave without buying anything, and see what Ride Brooklyn has.

As usual, they not only had the exact tires I was hoping to buy, but even the colorway that I wanted too! Ride Brooklyn is moving up in my book, I can tell you that. Here's a blurry shot of one of them in all its branded glory with my tired coworker in the background.


Maxxis Xeniths are foldable due to the nifty Kevlar® bead so getting them on the first time was a little weird. It was like wrapping a wheel with a broken slap-bracelet until I managed to pump it a little so the tube would encourage it to start taking shape. Though after getting them on and pumped up to around 125psi, I took a quick spin and what a difference they made!

Though it is possible that being brand-new tires, they highlighted the inadequacies of my previous set of Specialized Mondos which I wore down to nothing, after a few days of varied riding on the Xeniths, I can say confidently that they're simply better all around.

When it comes to bike stuff, the old mantra of "you get what you pay for" couldn't ring truer; and at $65 a pop, these bad boys are at the top end of racing clenchers, and it shows on the sidewall where in big white letters 'HORS CATEGORIE' is emblazoned. Perhaps it's just marketing mumbo-jumbo, but I like to imagine they allow me to climb faster on the numerous "beyond categorization" climbs we have here in the northeast.


So the reason I'm going on about tires today is because in researching which tires would be best for my riding style, I consulted the venerable Sheldon Brown and came away with a very thorough understanding of another common misconception people almost unanimously ascribe to.

You may have noticed that both of the sets of tires I referred to above have no tread pattern whatsoever, which may strike you as a slippery solution to old rubber. When I first got my bike, it came with treadless tires as well, and I was very cautious about cornering until I got familiar with the tire's limits, but still I doubted their effectiveness during less than ideal weather. "Surely bald tires have a propensity to hydroplane," I thought.

Thanks to bike-nerds who have the desire and know-how to figure things like this out for the rest of us; apparently it is nearly impossible for bicycle tires to hydroplane, even with no tread pattern! Sheldon spells it out most succinctly:

Bicycles canNOT hydroplane because:

1. A bicycle tire has a curved road contact. Since a bicycle leans in corners, it needs a tire with a rounded contact area, which tends to push the water away to either side.

2. A bicycle tire is narrower [-than a car tire], so not as much water is in contact with the leading edge at once.

3. The high pressure of bicycle tires is more efficient at squeezing the water out from under.

4. At high bicycle speeds, hydroplaning is just possible for car tires, but is absolutely impossible for bicycle tires.

It turns out that true hydroplaning is difficult even for cars, and is of greatest concern for airplanes landing on wet runways, so Sheldon then refers to a table calculated by "the aviation industry" which shows that a round-section tire running at 40psi (think mountain bikes and beach cruisers) would have to hit water at 55mph to initiate a hydroplane; at 100psi it would have to be travelling at over 100 mph; and at 120psi (a typical racing bike tire pressure) one would have to go nearly 115mph!

So for most cyclists in cities, a treaded tire is no more useful than the guards on the GWB. Further proof of this comes when you examine the road surface which you're riding on. The asphalt or concrete is riddled with little indentations that are bigger than typical tread patterns found on most road tires. Since the tire is flexible and bends over these bumps and dips anyway, the tread really serves no purpose whatsoever except to reduce the amount of rubber in contact with the road at any given time.

Though apparently tire companies have noticed people's apprehension toward treadless tires because of this assumption, and mold patterns into tires to increase sales despite knowing that they tend to eat away at performance.

Unlike the great helmet conspiracy, this trend is motivated by profit directly and is a curious example of how catering to the unsophisticated reduces quality and efficiency for others. Because people are scared of slipping and falling, so-called 'racing slicks' are branded as "Hors Categorie" or "Open PRO" (whatever that means) and subsequently a surcharge is added because you want what is deemed by the idiocy of others to be pro-level equipment.

Sometimes companies will even go so far as to sell mediocre products at grossly inflated prices thanks to these marketing shenanegans. The tires I just replaced, the Mondos, make a great example of this phenomena.

After riding on them for thousands of miles, I noticed that I kept thinking they were flat. I'd reach down and pinch my tires at every other red-light wondering why they felt so doughy. Understandably, this started to bug me and after doing a little research, I found that this is a common problem on Specialized's mid-range racing tires. Some have speculated that inferior rubber is used so they wear out fast and you either keep replacing them or spend the extra buck on their "pro level" tires.

Whatever the case may be, the bottom line is this, if you notice your tires when you're biking, one of three things could be wrong:

1. you don't have them inflated to high-enough pressure.
   
   
2. your tires aren't as expensive as they could be.
   
   or,
   
   
3. you're looking at them, which is dangerous.

Anyway, here's to my vain hopes that signage will one day be more accurate, as evidenced by this brutally honest bus stop ad...


...and less like this car that was photographed and forwarded by a friend:

...the farce of the green colorway

It's been a while since I've gone on about the goings-on in local bike culture, so I thought I'd take this wet, cloudy day as an opportunity to reflect on some of the wackier developments in bicycle design and such...


Not only have people been rethinking the weight capacity of bicycles, but as with any reasonably useful invention, people have been modifying and redesigning bikes to more and more utilitarian ends. The above example (which is found here and designed by Kevin Cyr of Boston) is a painting (by Cyr) of a so-called camper bike, featuring an RV-like ambiance and boasting all the comforts of a pedal-powered mobile home.

I think its a neat idea in a "salt of the earth" sort of way; being at once poetic and laughably annoying to use. I doubt I would ever have the determination to ride one of these cross country, my personal belief being that I can travel further faster on an unencumbered bike, though perhaps forgoing the comforts of RV life.

Though many do not share my sentiments for lightness and efficiency (like the pointless bike-powered water purifier that I mentioned a last week) and aren't content riding unencased.


This fringe group of anti-social cyclists has existed for almost as long as cycling itself has and still people are coming up with new ways to tackle the relatively simple problems day-to-day cycling presents... Like today's rain, for instance. Typically cyclists aren't too chagrined to don rain-pants, fenders, or to just ride in the rain and deal with being wet later. However not all cyclists are typical and a recent entry in the James Dyson Foundation design competition is a case-in-point:


Bike tents are no new concept, but somehow people can't get it through their thick skulls that approaches to peripheral cycling devices like this create more problems for the commuting or recreational cyclist than it solves. Sure, you may be able to keep your torso out of the rain (which is reasonably fresh water, by the way) but the severely hindered movement of air within the vinyl enclosure essentially guarantees you will arrive at your destination drenched in sweat (which isn't the freshest) unless its really chilly outside.

To be sure, much of 'design' these days is concerned with the packaging of things; people, products, and ideas are wrapped in strange enclosures, rendered to elicit emotional responses such as shame, fear, or libidinous thoughts.

Though one of the best ways to sell shit to people is to pander to their manufactured desire for "green" crap. I recently came across this bizarre bike that has successfully jumped onto the sustainability bandwagon:


Though I do love wooden things as well as new material approaches to age-old problems, a hollow wooden frame might not be the best solution for a road bike. God forbid you accidentally crash because that elegantly curved top tube is going to pierce you right below the sternum when (not if) that frame breaks. Furthermore, the amount of teak oil one will have to buy to keep this ride from cracking and decaying is daunting, not to mention the three pounds of lacquer they surely used; and nevermind all of the off-the-shelf parts that this wood bike boasts.

Swing and a miss...

In this interview with the "senior manager of sustainable growth" Barbara Chung for FIJI bottled water, we can witness the skillful feints and parries of a seasoned PR mouthpiece.

The dumb, "gettin' to know ya" questions were answered with a long winded (and very obviously rehearsed) statistics-based arguments, while the important ones that got to the root of the problem of calling yourself green and then engaging in flagrantly not-green practices went totally unanswered and ignored.

Though bottled water companies aren't the only ones who like to paint their misdeeds as noble; car companies and energy companies are some of the worst offenders. But picking on them is simply too easy. What really earns my ire is when people congratulate themselves for hurting the environment less than other people do.


The US Green Building Council which oversees the LEED rating and "awards" for buildings is a perfect example of this blindness to reality. Though I can tell you from experience that encouraging clients to spend the extra buck to build with less impact is difficult, rewards such as this are like patting yourself on the back for littering a little as opposed to a lot; the point is your littering, it doesn't really matter how much you do it, it's still bad.

Again, bicycles are a perfect example of this spin-doctoring. Organizations like TA love to tout the bike as a perfectly green solution for commuting, running errands, and generally looking hip; but are bicycles really that green?

Sure, when you pedal from place to place, you aren't using fossil fuels or belching tons of noxious gasses into the air as cars do, but to say that bicycles are good for the environment is a complete misnomer. Think about what bikes are made out of: metal, plastic, carbon fiber, and rubber. While you may not personally hurt the environment in your day to day use of your bike, the manufacturing of it (esp. carbon fiber) and transportation of it to your LBS, as well as the packaging for all the accouterments one will surely be suckered into buying for it does do harm.

So its fine to ride a bike or walk instead of taking a car, bus, or train; but one must remember that they're not actually helping anything, they're merely not hurting as much as they could.

As far as I'm concerned, theres only one cyclist who can lay claim to the title of greenest.

... colorway me a dork disc

This weekend I didn't do any spectacular or inspiring cycling to which a lengthy and abounding write-up would be appropriate. With the exception of some high-pace laps around Prospect Park, I pedaled softly from place to place with the girls, just enjoying the sunshine and pleasant company.


We spent a while at Outpost, a new-to-me cafe x bar collabo on Fulton St. between Grand and Classon Aves. A few of my close friends frequent this establishment on a regular basis and attested to it's quality. I must say, any place where Brooklyn Lager is rightly considered domestic beer (and $4 a bottle) gets a thumbs up from me... too often I go to bars in this city where it certainly isn't the most expensive beer on tap, but it's strangely priced similarly to big-name imports like Stella, Heineken, and Dos Equis.

Seriously though, they brew that shit in Utica (no, not the storied Utica of ancient-times notariety).


However, many things are produced here in the city, such as "custom" machines by Bespoke Bicycles, above.

I went over to check out this store on Lafayette Ave. while the ladies were recuperating from the temptations of expensive clothing across the street. Though they seemed to have quite a few things for sale and the employees seemed nice enough, I didn't actually see any truly bespoke bikes. sure many were be-spoked with shiny new wheels and they all boasted beautiful paintjobs, but I didn't notice any frames that looked custom welded, nor did the telling stench of ozone greet my nose when I went in (a sure sign that someone is, or has been, welding nearby).

I didn't stick around for long so I can't concievably turn this experience into a LBSR, but I must say that I hope they do well and are a permanent fixture in Fort Greene, and I sincerely hope they do actually build custom frames and can find a market for them.

Unfortunately, for people who can afford them, a 'bespoke' bicycle is often more fashion accessory than serious transportation. I'm not saying that I want everyone to be ascetic and discard all but the most fundamentally useful bicycles, but I would like to see reason and utility inform thier purchases, as opposed to 'colorway' coordination and subcultural branding that dominates the bike scene here.

Hipsterdom started the colorway-ing of bicycles a few years back, branching off from the catch moniker of beautiful simplicity and transforming itself into a grotesque industrial behemoth bent on catering to the weens and wans of the wandering and lost youth of Williamsburg.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with wanting your bicycle to be unique or readily identifiable among others; though as I noted before, the fixie scene here has passed the inflection point whereby the exception has become the norm. Like the be-plaided, be-booted, psuedo-anarchy of punks in the nineties, 'deep-vee' rims and miniature handlebars are now the uniform of the urban (and at times, suburban) hip.

That glimmer of rationality in fixed-gear culture that shunned the unnecessary and embraced the minimal has been subverted by people of all entrepeneur-ways. Like so much else in life that derives it's beauty and appeal from it's purity, it has been raped by the long cock of capitalism and public misunderstanding.

One of the products that I find metaphorically apt here is the oft-overlooked dork disk - the thin metal or plastic disk that comes on all new geared-bicycles regardless of price or intended use. It is called the dork disk because if you maintain your derailleur even a little, you have absolutely no need for it.


Similarly, if your bike lacks the ability to shift gears, the dork disk does nothing for you except provide added wieght and possibly another site for colorway-ing your ride. One would then think that this would be a rare sight, but alas, it is not.


Take the above example from fixed gear gallery; this disk must have been intentionally added. I have circled the offending part in colorway BADA55 and likened it to another popular "dork disk" to elucidate my meaning.

Though this bike hasn't maximized it's colorway potential by using a stock-metal disk, it's safe to assume that this trend will likely yeild lots of 'hard-anodized' dork disks in a multitude of styles. Then again, hipsters are known for palping useless appendages for unknown reasons (like beavertail fenders to presumably keep road grime from soiling their threadbare hanes which are undoubtedly already dingy from being exposed to the grimy hipster buttocks upon which they rest).

I don't know if this represents an invasion into bicycle culture by yet another product-way, but if my recent odometer sighting is any indication, the apcalypse seems to be nigh.


Rock on, lock on, SATAN! (to be pronounced SAY-tawn)

... Video Wednesdays

I'm feeling kind of lazy today so thank goodness for video Wednesdays. I found this video of MC SpandX rapping about being a roadie and talking smack about hipsters which always provides some comic relief.



There has been some speculation as to whether Performance Bike secretly produced and distributed this video, though I don't really care. What I do care about is that MC SpandX is obviously ignorant of some of the finer points of both cycling and video-editing.

Firstly, during the chorus when he's lubin' his chain, he sprays his 'super loob' on the top run of the chain, which is incorrect (when lubricating a bicycle chain, always remember to apply oil to the bottom run to minimize the chance of oiling the braking surface of your rim and to flush grime toward the outside of the chain-links).

Also, he's wearing what appears to be the Australian National Champion Jersey, which annoys me.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not usually inclined to critique one's style or manner of dress save egregious errors of wardrobe, but the widespread 'palping' of national or world champion markings 'rubs' me the wrong way.


Take note of the above rainbow pattern. This 'colorway' is reserved exclusively for use by people who have become a world champion in one cycling discipline or another (road race, TT, match sprint, etc...). Unfortunately, since most people on bikes are not racers (myself included, as of yet anyway) they are not subject to the stringent rules of USAC which would fine or disqualify a rider for misrepresenting him(or her)self as a national or world champion.


Similarly, national champions are accorded the honor of wearing their national jersey at races during the year of thier win, and may have all subsequent jerseys trimmed with that national 'colorway' for the rest of their career.

You may think that I'm going a little overboard by attacking the misappropriation of these 'colorways', but if everyone started wearing the rainbow jersey (and they have), it wouldn't hold any special significance for the few that actually earned it by being the absolute best cyclist in the world. I think it would be really exciting to see someone wearing the rainbow jersey and to know without a doubt that they're the best instead of wondering why they feel it necessary to masquerade as an ideal.

Unfortunately for my rigid principles, all sorts of cycling prody has become available with the rainbow trim. Helmets, pedals, rims, and caps alike have been emblazoned with it and risen accordingly in price (one noteable exception is with bicycles themselves. when a bike brand is ridden to victory by a world champ, the company is allowed to use the rainbow on frames of that year as is the case on all 2008-9 Specialized bikes, thanks to the likes of Paolo Bettini and Alessandro Ballan).

Little do these poseurs know, like salmon, those who don the rainbow jersey are a cursed population.

Then again, there have been much more brguiling trends amongst cyclists as evidenced by these strange handlebar grips forwarded to me by a reader:


Gives new meaning to screwing the guy next to you doesn't it?

...keepin it real Thursdays

As we all know by now (I hope), motorists in general have a distinct distaste for cyclists. In places like New York City, the reasons for this are more apparent than in other places. Cyclists make the inefficiencies of cars glaringly obvious to motorists, for instance, as they're stuck in a gridlock that bicycles can slip through like water through a sieve. Fortunately, in this city, if your rights as a cyclist are ever infringed upon, rest assured that there are certain cyclists around you that will exact swift retribution upon the offending car. It's a safety in numbers thing I suppose...

Other places around the country, the number and density of cyclists is much lower, making us vastly outnumbered by cars and trucks on many roadways; yet still, many drivers think it's amusing to taunt cyclists or intentionally press them into guardrails or off the shoulder. They view bicycles as an impediment to the free flow of traffic, since driving safely with a cyclist requires slightly more attention, which I've heard is in short supply these days.

By now, this is old news, but I'll repost it here for posterity. Earlier this week, in Asheville NC, a long-time firefighter for some reason became irate that a man, his wife, and their child were cycling on what the firefighter deemed to be an unsafe street for bikes. Apparently he stopped and started an argument with the father before pulling out a handgun and shooting him in the head! Luckily the bullet passed through his helmet and didn't touch his skull. This is the maniacal firefighter who it seems can't contain his hatred for "bad parenting". Please remember the time-honored tradition of throwing rotten fruits and vegetables at him if you ever have the opportunity.


(a little advice, don't read the comments on that article; they will only serve to aggrivate you in a way only backward thinking car-obsessed people can)

As always, while it seems things are going down the tubes for cyclists elsewhere, in NYC, cyclists rights are on the up-and-up! I've long been a fierce defendant of the bike lanes' boundaries and frequently take it upon myself to make drivers aware of their infringements, often at great risk to my own safety. Though as Gothamist has noted recently, the police are actually ticketing people for blocking bike lanes with their cars (and other things too, I hope)!!!! Personally, I feel rather vindicated by this news, and to be sure, I'll definitely point out offending motorists to any officers I pass (not that the officers themselves give a flying fuck about cyclists).


Other recent victories for cyclists here include the passing of a recent bill that allows bicycles into all buildings in NYC that boast freight elevators, in an effort to promote commuting by bicycle. Much to the chagrin of noted cycling crumudgeon, Mikael (of Copenhagenize and Copenhagen Cycle Chic fame), New York is slowly becoming one of the more bike-friendly megalopoli in this country. While I'm not sure if this bill will really encourage "tens of thousands of commuters to get on two wheels," as TA executive Director Paul Steely White claims; it sure is a step in the right direction.

Maybe one day my dream of a car-free manhattan will come true. Once we get off of this addiction to laziness and preoccupation with safety, I guarantee we will see a fitter, happier, and more prosperous US of A.

Perhaps transportation alternatives could start an automobile smear-campaign with images like these that the aforementioned Mikael designed (I believe they are his brainchild, anyway) to resemble the garish, large, and intentionally obtrusive warning labels found on packs of cigarettes.


I'm really enamored by the idea that perhaps in our warning-label-obsessed society, we can find room for one more, placed squarely on top of dashboards or as permanent, federally mandated bumper stickers, to deride drivers the same way we do smokers. Heck, maybe we could design some warning against the dangers of fatties too!

... the Friday madness (rarely seen!)

It was a dark and dreary day at the tour today as the riders ascended to the 1183m high summit of the Col du Platzerwasel near the German border this morning... Of course, this doesn't mean that the fans were any less thick or annoying than on other famed climbs.


I have to say, however, that I'm getting a tad bored with the tour so far. Now that the flat stages are largely over, Cavendish has few opportunities to drop creative new victory salutes and it has fallen to the big-shots of pro cycling to create some action.

But the "cycling elite" (as the announcers like to call Lance, Alberto, Fabian, et al.) aren't doing much of anything. Today they let a breakaway go clear of the field before the first climb and never got around to reeling them in. Lance didn't push the tempo, Nocentini (maillot jaune) didn't try anything risky, and Contador just wasn't as aggressive and assholey as he usually is.

The guy who ended up winning the stage today was also visibly upset by the lack of action from the peloton:


Actually, In case you can't tell, I was only kidding with the previous statement. This is Heinrich Haussler and he rode magnificently today. Haussler obliterated the breakaway group almost thirty km out from the finish and stayed away, increasing his lead with every pedal stroke.

I can't blame the man for being overcome with emotion like this, the Tour de France is decidedly the most prestigious race in the world, and to win a stage in it is a coveted and elusive goal for nearly every competitive cyclist.

That said, I'd cry too.

Spending so much time recently scoping out the absolute cream of the sport of cycling, I find it neccessary to also probe its dark underbelly. Take this seemingly innocuous craigslist post for instance:


As I've underlined, and visibly questioned with a BADA55 'colorway', this ad is rife with inconsistency and beguiling language. Perhaps the poster is simply a once-in-a-while rider (or god forbid, a salmon) and knows very little about cycling nomenclature.

First of all, I think most bicycles are unisex these days, especially since the days of women's modesty have gone and rendered the double-drop bar frame an antiquated convention that is today more stylistic than functional.

Secondly, The poster may be interested to note that velodromes do not allow the use of multiple gear ratios or brakes, as is evidenced in the growing urban fixie fetishism. Therefore, "21 speed" and "track bike" are mutually exclusive terms and to put the two together in a strange portmanteaux is an oxymoron, moron.

Thirdly, though not lastly, I've never seen, heard of, or even dreamed about 700cm tires (i'm not going to even get into the "track tire" faux pas). I believe they mean 700c tires which roughly means tires that are 622mm in circumference. A wheel 7 meters in circumference must be a real track machine indeed, especially considering the UCI's limit on gain-per-pedalstroke is barely over 7 meters to begin with, though I suppose that could give creedence to the handlebar motto I blogged about recently.

Then again, perhaps cycling is in fact moving toward larger and larger wheel sizes as evidenced by Bike Snob's recent sighting.

Lastly, I hope the above post intended to say carbon fiber fork, instead of fiberglass fork because fiberglass has a famously poor track record when it comes to resisting the dynamic forces of impact.

Anyway, steer clear of the rediculosity this weekend and ride safe!

P.S. Look forward to epic pics and coverage of my slog up to the roadie-verse on Monday!

...careful, the 'dish is on fire

Since we recently decided to forgo the boob-tube (nsfw) at my place, I've been doing lots of new and interesting things with the time that would have previously been spent sitting on my ass watching reruns of "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives" or "Property Virgins" (no; it has nothing to do with virginity in the traditional sense).

One of the things I've re-appropriated this time for is reading comic books and novels. I haven't finished the novel yet, though not to worry, a concise and informative review of it is forthcoming; I assure you.

The comic I randomly decided to follow is apparently a fairly well known series and it was my good fortune to judge it by it's cover. Knowing nothing of the plot, writers, or artists, I bought a bound version of the first five or so issues to try it out and see if I liked it. Well I did like it... a whole lot.


DMZ is set in near-future NYC and follows accidental photo-journalist Matty Roth through civil-war-torn Manhattan in a dark, gritty time when Americans are forced to side with either the provincial and racist "Free States of America" or the cornered, paranoid, police state that is the remnants of the USA, shacked up on Long Island. Manhattan Island is a demilitarized zone between the two, and is sparsely populated by those who have been forgotten by both sides... Having banded together into block-by-block gangs and security coalitions, the city's residents are isolationist and subsist at a dark ages level.

If you like dystopic visions of the future set in familiar locations, this comic is sure to entertain. As it is produced by native new yorkers, scenes are rendered with such accuracy that you can tell which direction the frame is looking, and the story flows coherently from neighborhood to neighborhood. There's no risk of navigational non-sequiturs and New Yorkers are sure to get a kick from familiar places rendered in total destruction.

I promptly went and bought volumes 2-6 the day after finishing volume 1, which attests to the palatability of this series. (comic buying tip: go to the store on 33rd and 5th, across 33rd from the Empire State building, and for some reason, they're like half off, making them about 6 bucks a volume...)

Of course, not being able to stay away from video for long, I've been catching up on the Tour via YouTube in the evenings and Versus.com in the mornings (only streams during the live coverage time).

While Armstrong's Astana team took the lead in this morning's TTT (stage 4), Mark Cavendish of Columbia Highroad has won two stages so far (2 and 3), receiving the green jersey after the first win. According to the ego-masseurs at cyclingnews.com, the 'Dish' is "...at the precocious age of 24, the fastest, strongest and smartest sprinter in the world..." and having won Milan-San Remo and it's 20,000 Euro prize, has silenced his detractors.

I find the thought funny, cause ultimately what comes to mind when I think of cycling critics, is two guys sitting in a bar somewhere and one says to the other, "Hey, I think Cavendish is really fast this season, he might win some important races..." Then his friend retorts, "no he isn't."

At any rate, I think the surest way to silence nay-sayers in the sport of cycling is to practice one's victory salute or develop wholly new ones, in order to reinforce your win in the spectator's minds. Cavendish is worth recognizing for his uncanny ability to awe crowds with his broad repertoire of salutes and their infrequent repetition.

They range from the downright gleeful, as we witnessed Sunday....


...to the "display of might salute" (extra points for the Columbia Highroad six-pack jersey)...


...to the Triple-S, aka the "sexually suggestive salute".


Of course, every Pro cyclist knows, you'd never be in the race in the first place without tons of dough. Thanks to corporate sponsorships, these guys can race the biggest and most high-profile races without having to foot the bill for equipment, lodging, etc... The 'Dish knows this and repped his sponsors yesterday even more shamelessly than I do for this blog on facebook:


We all get lazy sometimes and just aren't in the mood to act all excited or promote cell phone plans at the finish line, and it's nice to see the 'dish is no exception:


I think he's trying to sign "whoop-dee fucking doo" to the crowd, and doesn't look too happy about the win; though his arm doesn't look to be in great shape here, so perhaps he's coolly showing off his wounds as if to say "man y'all are pussies, I fell over, got bandaged up, and still beat you to the line!"

Actually, I think I've got to re-phrase that last one, lest we forget that the 'dish is an englishman. It's like he's signaling, "Garcon! lets 'ave a spot of tea and a butta scone roit 'eah yea?"