... colorway me a dork disc

This weekend I didn't do any spectacular or inspiring cycling to which a lengthy and abounding write-up would be appropriate. With the exception of some high-pace laps around Prospect Park, I pedaled softly from place to place with the girls, just enjoying the sunshine and pleasant company.


We spent a while at Outpost, a new-to-me cafe x bar collabo on Fulton St. between Grand and Classon Aves. A few of my close friends frequent this establishment on a regular basis and attested to it's quality. I must say, any place where Brooklyn Lager is rightly considered domestic beer (and $4 a bottle) gets a thumbs up from me... too often I go to bars in this city where it certainly isn't the most expensive beer on tap, but it's strangely priced similarly to big-name imports like Stella, Heineken, and Dos Equis.

Seriously though, they brew that shit in Utica (no, not the storied Utica of ancient-times notariety).


However, many things are produced here in the city, such as "custom" machines by Bespoke Bicycles, above.

I went over to check out this store on Lafayette Ave. while the ladies were recuperating from the temptations of expensive clothing across the street. Though they seemed to have quite a few things for sale and the employees seemed nice enough, I didn't actually see any truly bespoke bikes. sure many were be-spoked with shiny new wheels and they all boasted beautiful paintjobs, but I didn't notice any frames that looked custom welded, nor did the telling stench of ozone greet my nose when I went in (a sure sign that someone is, or has been, welding nearby).

I didn't stick around for long so I can't concievably turn this experience into a LBSR, but I must say that I hope they do well and are a permanent fixture in Fort Greene, and I sincerely hope they do actually build custom frames and can find a market for them.

Unfortunately, for people who can afford them, a 'bespoke' bicycle is often more fashion accessory than serious transportation. I'm not saying that I want everyone to be ascetic and discard all but the most fundamentally useful bicycles, but I would like to see reason and utility inform thier purchases, as opposed to 'colorway' coordination and subcultural branding that dominates the bike scene here.

Hipsterdom started the colorway-ing of bicycles a few years back, branching off from the catch moniker of beautiful simplicity and transforming itself into a grotesque industrial behemoth bent on catering to the weens and wans of the wandering and lost youth of Williamsburg.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with wanting your bicycle to be unique or readily identifiable among others; though as I noted before, the fixie scene here has passed the inflection point whereby the exception has become the norm. Like the be-plaided, be-booted, psuedo-anarchy of punks in the nineties, 'deep-vee' rims and miniature handlebars are now the uniform of the urban (and at times, suburban) hip.

That glimmer of rationality in fixed-gear culture that shunned the unnecessary and embraced the minimal has been subverted by people of all entrepeneur-ways. Like so much else in life that derives it's beauty and appeal from it's purity, it has been raped by the long cock of capitalism and public misunderstanding.

One of the products that I find metaphorically apt here is the oft-overlooked dork disk - the thin metal or plastic disk that comes on all new geared-bicycles regardless of price or intended use. It is called the dork disk because if you maintain your derailleur even a little, you have absolutely no need for it.


Similarly, if your bike lacks the ability to shift gears, the dork disk does nothing for you except provide added wieght and possibly another site for colorway-ing your ride. One would then think that this would be a rare sight, but alas, it is not.


Take the above example from fixed gear gallery; this disk must have been intentionally added. I have circled the offending part in colorway BADA55 and likened it to another popular "dork disk" to elucidate my meaning.

Though this bike hasn't maximized it's colorway potential by using a stock-metal disk, it's safe to assume that this trend will likely yeild lots of 'hard-anodized' dork disks in a multitude of styles. Then again, hipsters are known for palping useless appendages for unknown reasons (like beavertail fenders to presumably keep road grime from soiling their threadbare hanes which are undoubtedly already dingy from being exposed to the grimy hipster buttocks upon which they rest).

I don't know if this represents an invasion into bicycle culture by yet another product-way, but if my recent odometer sighting is any indication, the apcalypse seems to be nigh.


Rock on, lock on, SATAN! (to be pronounced SAY-tawn)

...LBSR and new toys!

This past Sunday a few friends and I took a delightful little jaunt down to Coney Island. Except for one flat, it was a nice, uneventful ride with an easy pace that ended with hot dogs at Nathan's (for in-depth coverage of our gastronomical excursions, be sure to hit up that moohare). As I mentioned yesterday, several of the people we rode with had just bought bicycles that day, though one person rented a bike from a nearby bike shop that I had no idea existed.

We understandably had a tough time getting it back to the shop before their closing time of 6:30pm, so I opted to just return it in the morning since I learned it was along my usual route to work. Walking the two bikes, one in each hand, I decided to snap a quick photo of the rented bike for posterity:


As you can tell from the relaxed position of the bike, and the lazy dandelions I included in the 'composition', it is built for comfort, not speed. This is by no means an attack on comfort bikes or those who ride/rent/sell them, its just not my style. I prefer to stay light and quick as such are the demands of city riding.

What struck me about this bike the most was its weight. I don't know exactly how much my bike weighs, but I think its somewhere just under the 20lb mark. This bike seemed to be two, if not three times heavier. Seriously, I have to hand it to the girl for riding this 20 miles on Sunday, she's a champ.

I got there and handed over the behemoth without incident and continued on to work, surprised I had never before known about this shop:

Ride Brooklyn


Yesterday I decided I was sick of my shitty stock brakes and set out to find a new pair of calipers. After finding Bicycle Habitat out of stock (unfortunately an all too common situation for them in the summertime), I tried this store out. Having taken note of the ubiquitous 'Brooklyn' cycling caps displayed in multiple 'colorways' in their window, I knew this was a well stocked shop indeed.


Pete and Jessica, the owners (or so I was led to believe), were extremely helpful and sold me not only a new set of calipers, but a wireless cateye cyclo-computer as well.


Considering Brooklyn Bike & Board boasts awesome mechanics but lacks the scale of other LBS's inventories, I doubt the two stores will step on each others toes too much, despite their being less than two full blocks away from one another. I will definitely continue to patronize both stores given their respective fortes.

Speaking of forte, Today's Stage 11 of the Tour de France ended with yet another victory for the 'dish. He snatched the victory from Thor Hushovd after the latter initiated the final sprint. In doing so, Cavendish has tied the record for number of stages won by a briton in the tour (8).


And of course this means he's back in the green.


There's not much to look forward to from Lance & Co. until this weekend, but perhaps the 'dish will keep us entertained until the race gets to the Alps and Versus can stop glazing over the post-race interviews with shots of the many chateauxs the race passes.

I'm always interested to see the aerial shots of little french villages and castles, but versus uses them as a crutch, which bothers me. I screen-capped the above shot because it was about the thousandth time they showed that same damn building.

I can hear the helicopter radio conversation now,

"Super-five-five, this is ground control do you copy? over."
"Copy that ground control, this is super-five-five, everyone's over the line... Any word from the network? over."
"Nothing yet super-five-five maintain a holding pattern over something pretty and shoot that until something happens on the ground. over."
"Copy that ground control, We've got a stately home with manicured lawns in our sights, good enough? over."
"Good to go super five-five, the winner has a british accent so network says no interviews allowed. over."
"Roger that ground control, we'll keep shooting this building 'til word comes down. over."

...Bastille Day!

Being one of the most important french national holidays, Bastille day is a time for enjoying all things french; baguettes, red red wine, croissants, and cycling! Of course, this holiday coincides with a flat stage of the tour through the middle of the country past yellow fields of grain and quaint pastoral cottages. Needless to say, everyone in France has the day off and takes the opportunity to come out and cheer on the riders who are racing toward the start of the Alps and the decisive stages of the tour. Watching the stage stream online, we could catch glimpses of the french revelry. First there were people waving plants...


Then we saw people waving sheets from horseback...


And then there were two soon-to-be-escargots just getting their fill of the sporting occasion, waving nothing at all....


Funny thing is, this snapshot was taken directly before the breakaway passed them, and the commentators expressed hope that they would not try to venture out onto the road lest they become unusable as escargots later in the day. Then, as the main field of riders passed that spot, they showed the snails again, just chilling, watching the race go by.

I'm not sure if these fellas ever got served up in some fancy french dish, though I hope if they do, they're served up for the 'dish, winner of today's stage (and two others so far this race).


According to the race announcers, Cavendish has had a 90% win rate on sprint finish races and stages this season. Allow me to put that another way: If Mark Cavendish is in a sprint to the line with any number of other riders, he essentially has a 90% chance he'll beat them to the line. That's the epitome speed if I do say so myself (a little British-ism to commemorate).

And I do....

In addition to bringing you critical reviews of local bike lanes with the semi-regular BLRI posts, I feel the need to relay my experiences with local bike shops that I frequent. Starting close to home, Today's LBSR (local bike shop review) will be about a new face in Prospect Heights:

Brooklyn Bike and Board


BByB Just opened up a little while ago on Vanderbilt Ave. btw Bergen and Dean Sts. While more of a repair shop than anything, they run a good business and everyone I've met working there has been super cool and helpful... Even on weekends in the summer, which is saying a lot. Every time I've gone there with annoying little problems (like a creaking crank), Chip the mechanic torques everything down or straightens everything up and then refuses to take my money.

I can only guess that this is because they make enough money off all the junky mountain bikes and dutch bikes being brought in for complete overhauls that its no big deal to throw my road bike on the stand and wrench everything down real quick. Seriously, I've been to that bike shop numerous times and never been charged except when I bought prody. maybe I should bake them a cake or something...

They also sell new and refurbished single-speed bikes, fixed gear bikes, and geared cargo bikes, which are becoming much more commonplace around yuppieville. Two of my friends recently bought bikes from them, one of which being the Torker U-District bike that I can safely say is a great deal for the paltry $400 or so that they cost.

Anywho, Give 'em a try next time you're in the area, I promise you won't be disappointed.