... Video Wednesdays

I'm feeling kind of lazy today so thank goodness for video Wednesdays. I found this video of MC SpandX rapping about being a roadie and talking smack about hipsters which always provides some comic relief.



There has been some speculation as to whether Performance Bike secretly produced and distributed this video, though I don't really care. What I do care about is that MC SpandX is obviously ignorant of some of the finer points of both cycling and video-editing.

Firstly, during the chorus when he's lubin' his chain, he sprays his 'super loob' on the top run of the chain, which is incorrect (when lubricating a bicycle chain, always remember to apply oil to the bottom run to minimize the chance of oiling the braking surface of your rim and to flush grime toward the outside of the chain-links).

Also, he's wearing what appears to be the Australian National Champion Jersey, which annoys me.

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not usually inclined to critique one's style or manner of dress save egregious errors of wardrobe, but the widespread 'palping' of national or world champion markings 'rubs' me the wrong way.


Take note of the above rainbow pattern. This 'colorway' is reserved exclusively for use by people who have become a world champion in one cycling discipline or another (road race, TT, match sprint, etc...). Unfortunately, since most people on bikes are not racers (myself included, as of yet anyway) they are not subject to the stringent rules of USAC which would fine or disqualify a rider for misrepresenting him(or her)self as a national or world champion.


Similarly, national champions are accorded the honor of wearing their national jersey at races during the year of thier win, and may have all subsequent jerseys trimmed with that national 'colorway' for the rest of their career.

You may think that I'm going a little overboard by attacking the misappropriation of these 'colorways', but if everyone started wearing the rainbow jersey (and they have), it wouldn't hold any special significance for the few that actually earned it by being the absolute best cyclist in the world. I think it would be really exciting to see someone wearing the rainbow jersey and to know without a doubt that they're the best instead of wondering why they feel it necessary to masquerade as an ideal.

Unfortunately for my rigid principles, all sorts of cycling prody has become available with the rainbow trim. Helmets, pedals, rims, and caps alike have been emblazoned with it and risen accordingly in price (one noteable exception is with bicycles themselves. when a bike brand is ridden to victory by a world champ, the company is allowed to use the rainbow on frames of that year as is the case on all 2008-9 Specialized bikes, thanks to the likes of Paolo Bettini and Alessandro Ballan).

Little do these poseurs know, like salmon, those who don the rainbow jersey are a cursed population.

Then again, there have been much more brguiling trends amongst cyclists as evidenced by these strange handlebar grips forwarded to me by a reader:


Gives new meaning to screwing the guy next to you doesn't it?

...back from nowhere

Sorry about the recent lack of posts. I've been pretty busy for a change, working on getting my parent's beach house to a build-able state and hunting for new employment as I had mentioned last week.

Alas, the transition from 'architect erk' to 'bike mechanic erk' isn't going as smoothly as I'd planned, especially considering the recent upswing in available freelance telecommuting positions for draftsmen such as myself. While I'd be very content doing zen shit like polishing bearing races, It would be sweet if I could snag a job where my commute is 20 feet and the local lunch spot is my kitchen, imagine the freedom!

Fear not though, soon there will be an ebb to my workload and I can resume blogging about the frivolities and tomfoolery of society and it's denizens.

One subject that has piqued my curiosity (and will surely soon be the focus of in-depth cultural analysis by yours truly) is the dramatic spread of hipsterdom throughout the country.

Only a few years ago, tight pants, day-glo throwback sneakers, and garishly patterned sweatshirts were merely a novelty of the late-eighties-early-nineties, places like NYC, and other dense urban places populated by kind-of-artsy 'twenty somethings'. Now, when taking bike trips and such to more rural locales, I notice that the hipness has been latched onto by youngsters everywhere.

This notion that it's hip to be hip ironically lies in stark contrast to what was previously deemed hip in the era to which hipsters seem to ascribe themselves. I don't usually take issue with most of the fashion faux pas I see (as I'm certain that to some, I probably look like a tool of one subculture or another), though some trends I find troublingly popular and under critiqued.

One such trend is girls wearing is 'mom-cut' jeans and shorts. You know, the ones with three extra inches of fabric above the natural waist and extra lateral room for post childbirth hip expansion?


I'm really not sure why this is becoming a 'hip' look. I can't speak for everyone, but when I see chicks in pants like this, I throw up a little in my mouth. Certainly, more shapely women can appropriate this (aesthetic?) mode to sexier ends, but for regular people with regular rumps, pants like this are just about the most unflattering thing one could wear.

I suppose if your goal is to quell cat-calls, then wearing these would likely aid in your de-sexification to positive effect. The flip side is that the wearer is rendered sexually mute and will experience difficulty securing a mate of the opposite sex; so maybe carrying mace or a rape whistle would be a bit more reasonable in everyday circumstances.

However, I am nonetheless worried about this influx of high-waisted pants. Has there been a spike in cases of Oedipus complexes amongst male hipsters? Because usually men aren't attracted to saggy butt-cheeks and cinched bellies, this must be the case. Either that or (the more likely scenario) women just don't really care what guys think and dress more so for each other in an unspoken, platonic fashion competition.

Whatever the case, please, women of the world, heed the satire of SNL!



My only hope is that like these women, hipsterdom is acting out a wardrobe deadpan comedy (WDC from now on) as opposed to truly and wholeheartedly liking antiquated failures of fashion. Who knows, Pharrell seems intent on pushing this wave of bubblegum bullshit to the breaking point by opening kitchy stores like the new BBC/Ice Cream store in SOHO.

'til next time friends, ride safe.