...silly asians

I often get quite aggravated by two glaring injustices in this world. First, the seeming unavailability of those little coctail sausages in Brooklyn, and my new phone's complete lack of cooperation when I'm wearing gloves which, in the winter months, is all the time. Especially when I'm on my bike, having to stop and remove two gloves before answering is really annoying. On the upside, I now know how my ringtone song ends...

I've heard putting a piece of aluminum foil on your fingertip inside the glove helps. Turns out it doesn't work very well at all, and it only serves to make your fingertip really chilly. Short of taking the scissors to a pair of knit gloves, I was out of ideas today when I came across this shockingly relevant item:

from probablybadnews.com

I'm wholly in favor of this idea. I think sausages could be made in a not-intended-as-food-but-only-as-touch-screen-on-cold-weather-days-stylus-sausageway. Perhaps we'll see a general rise in surrogate/disposable digits. Inevitably, Americans and Japanese will demand them to be available in cute, portable sizes ala Muji. Then perhaps I'll finally be able to buy 'lil Smokies in New York...

...oh man I love 'lil Smokies...

Two birds with one stone, now if only we could do something about those jackasses who lean on the pole in the subway when hand-hold real estate is already scarce... bastards...

... keeping it real Thursdays

I was dismayed to read that a new ghost bike has been chained to a signpost at Fulton and Washington where Julian Miller was fatally struck by a motorcyclist on September 18.


I really don't feel like getting into a road rules debate right now, but this article about what supposedly lead to her and the motorcyclist's death kind of got under my skin...

The article even relates one person's corroboration of reports of two guys on crotch-rockets racing up and down Greene Ave before the incident. I've got nothing wrong with clubs, or even gangs, that center around a particular vehicle, hobby, or sport; but I'm pretty sure everyone in Brooklyn is intimately familiar with the growing popularity of driving a motorcycle like a goddamn maniac in the middle of the night. So why aren't we doing something about the ones who are flagrantly disobeying both common sense and local law; and instead pleading with cyclists to be more "defensive," "watchful," and "vigilant" of them?

Since when is it the duty of the law-abiding citizen to accommodate the transgressions of the law-breaking citizen? All this mentality does for us is perpetuate this disgusting culture of fear we've submitted to both consciously and unconsciously.

Though after reading the "account" of what transpired, it seems that Ms. Miller was salmoning up Greene or riding off the sidewalk between cars in the dark of night.

If you'll recall, I recently be-frogged my bike in a clever lightway that helps me and my penchant for dark clothing stay visible when riding after hours, and as a result I've become keenly aware of many bikes' extreme lack of illumination. I don't want to encourage people to bedazzle their bikes with those stupid peel-n-stick neon green reflectors, but some lights or reflectors are always a good thing (bear in mind, if you have lights theres really no point in having reflectors too, since the light should outshine the light bouncing off the reflector; if it doesn't, you need new batteries for your lights).


I've also started riding around Prospect Park on Tuesday and Thursday evenings since I'm somewhat unhappy with the speed my fitness allows me to ride at. In doing so I notice an irritatingly common problem with bicycle traffic at this time of day: people salmoning, lightless, through the pitch-dark park to (I assume) save a few seconds on their evening commute.


But recently I haven't been vocalizing my disdain for bike salmon, and instead have adopted a live-and-let-live policy, only saying something when they directly affect my safety or path of travel. I figure nobody wants to get lectured at anyway, and hopefully one day they'll realize that riding with traffic is far less scary than the opposite by their own volition.

Then again, the Police certainly aren't helping the situation (that is assuming they lead by example, which we all know, they don't), as evidenced by this occurence I was fortunate enough to capture this morning as I walked my bike to the service entrance of my office building:


Yes, thoust eyes dostn't decieve thee; that is indeed a Cop-salmon. I thought i was going to catch him sidewalk-salmoning, but right as I managed to free my camera from my bag, he rode into the new protected bike lane on Broadway... Oh well, this just as bad if not worse in my opinion.

Not to leave you with a sour taste for cycling, I was heartened to see that the Bergen St. 2,3 station in Brooklyn now boasts bike racks for commuters to use.


I only wish we could see this at every train station instead of having people to resort to vertical locking jobs on scarce bike racks, fences and signposts... But it's nice to see people are at least riding part of the way to work...

...keepin it real Thursdays

This morning I decided I would try a new route for my commute. Instead of traveling east, through downtown Brooklyn to get on the Manhattan bridge, I opted to ride north (from my recently-named historical neighborhood!) and use the Williamsburg bridge instead. This new route was, for me, an attempt to get a change of scenery on the daily slog to the office, and as such, one should not construe that I was trying to pursue either a time or safety benefit...

I turned onto Bedford Ave. and rode north on its ample bike lane which I must say, was far more pleasant than I expected, though I certainly did encounter my fair share of double parked cops, delivery drivers and salmoning crackheads. With the exception of a cumbersome crossover at the intersection of Rogers + Bedford Aves, and Dean st, Bedford is actually a pretty nice street to bike down. Even the salmon don't bother you as much since the bike lane is so friggin' wide; and since Bedford isn't that commercialized, you don't get so many delivery trucks using that ample space to unload large and unwieldy things.


Of course, any Brooklynite will tell you, Bedford Ave is a long-ass street, and as such, varies greatly from hood to hood. So Just to be clear, I'm referring only to Bedford between Eastern Parkway and the BQE, because north of there it becomes an entanglement of fixed-gear willyburgers, jaywalking hasids, and turn-signal-oblivious livery drivers.

Seeing as I rarely ride into the city on the Williamsburg Bridge, I took the opportunity to document my surroundings before heading into the city. Interestingly, the ride over the bridges is different depending on which direction you're going (for instance, taking the MB into manhattan is a much easier climb and faster descent than going the opposite way).


Also, this afforded me the opportunity to better familiarize myself with the area around the MUP on-ramp. I was riding the other direction a few weeks ago and saw this little ghost bike chained to a parking sign and assumed the worst...


Naturally, I guessed the ghost bike was for a little boy or girl since the bike is so small and in what looks like reasonably good shape, aside from being spray-painted white. Determined to use this sad story as the subject of a KIRT post, I went over and took a better photo of it and read the dedication that was paint-markered in blue on the chainguard:


As I've underlined (in hexidecimal: BADA55) the victim was apparently "26 years young." While I'm still bummed out that this ghost bike has to be here, I feel duped by those who erected the memorial. You can't use a 6-year-old's bike if you're 26, unless of course you happen to be a bear in the circus. Even that is a stretch because the incedence of cycling-bear fatalaties is relatively low these days, especially those due to motorist carelessness.

In hopes to lower the rate of car-cyclist-pedestrian altercations, the city has been closing down certain squares and parts of the avenues to automobile traffic. First Times Sq. and Herald Sq. were closed to north/south traffic, and now broadway is getting new "Protected Bike lanes" from Herald Sq. to 25th st. or so that reduce broadway down to one southbound lane. I happen to work right along that stretch of Broadway, and have been monitoring the progress of the bike lane for some time now. The most recent improvement were signs stating that cars are prohibited from parking or driving in the bike lane. Of course, this is just another sign for motorists to ignore:


The funny thing is, this car must have had to pull over into the hatched area, and then backed up to be halfway into the bike lane like that. I snapped this picture as the owner of the offending Honda came out of a store and shot me a disapproving look. Oh well, commuters in this city are no stranger to vindictive motorists in the bike lane...


At least the bike lane has big friendly arrows painted on the ground to remind bike-salmon of their misdeeds and give creedance to my pleas for uni-directional cycling. In fact, one time, as i had just mounted my bike to ride home for the day, I encountered a woman erratically salmoning up broadway and as she passed me, front wheel flapping this way and that, I gently told her that "bike lanes are one way, just like the streets are for cars." Once she processed what I had said she called back to me "No they're not!" Well, salmoners, take this (from NYC traffic law):

'Bicyclists cannot ride against the flow of traffic. Ride with traffic to avoid accidents' NYCDOT Section4-12 article p.4.v

...a busy day

The commute this morning was surprisingly wonderful. I left the apartment quite a bit later than I normally would, and what a difference it made! I was riding on virtually car-free roads all through Prospect Heights and Park Slope, enjoying the crisp breeze and bountiful sunshine on this seasonable day.

There were (understandably) far fewer cyclists than there probably were fifteen to twenty minutes prior, which meant the daily KOMB (King-Of-the-Manhattan-Bridge) race was long over. While I wasn't the lanterne rouge, I was definitely taking my sweet-ass time, whistling as I pedaled. Someone probably supposed I had a screw loose, but hey, its a nice tuesday to be alive!

Tuesday isn't usually what comes to mind when I think of a beautiful spring day, I frequently rely on Saturdays and Sundays being nice, and if any days in between are, they're just a tease. I'm gonna be teased for a while today, cause I've got a bunch of "real work" to do.

However, I can't rob you of this, forwarded to me from Gothamist, via mori.


At least they're owning up to things... Cheers, see ya tomorrow.

...my free breakfast

Since It's Friday, I think I'll post a little earlier today. Meh, who gives a shit anyway? nobody even reads this blog yet...

I was watching Scarponi win stage six of the Giro last night on that newfangled Universal Sports channel (110 on IO, in case you're wondering). While it was interesting to see the mountain stages being ridden so early in the race, I was sorta bored. There were a couple of funny or mildly entertaining things to see or ponder though... specifically in the final kilometers leading up to the finish at Mayrhofen.

The Bleacher Report writes:
"...Scarponi, the winner of March's Tirreno-Adriatico, dug in, dropped Kiriyenka, and managed to hold off the storming peloton to win the stage by 32 seconds. Kiriyenka had been swallowed up in the finishing kilometers."


What they failed to mention, and I unfortunately can't find a picture of, was Kiriyenka's gazelle-esque on-bike stretching technique. His left leg started freezing up right after they crested the last climb, so he unclips it, and pulls his foot up right behind the saddle! I've never ever seen this before (probably due, in part, to my questionable bike handling ability) and am totally enthralled by it!


I can see this turning into a sweet freestyle trick to be performed principally by hipsters masquerading their fixed-gear athleticism around McCarren Park. Shit, better yet, what if you could do both legs at once, no handed! We could call it the Amazing-No-Hands-Or-Legs trick or ANHOL.

That would provide some humorous situations:

"Hey bro, I was doing anhol tricks down Bedford yesterday and these chicks were totally diggin' the whole anhol show."

Or:

"Dude! That guy totally ate shit doing an anhol trick."

See, then it would only be natural for one to assume that person being referred to not only enjoys anal sex, and fecalphelia, but is possibly even an exhibitionist hooker. Though, dear readers, please use caution when utilizing accusations such as this; they tend to breed animosity and contempt. As a self-described pacifist, I cannot condone speech of this kind.

Moving right along, I was watching that depressing Documentary Overcoming, about Bjarne Riis, Team CSC, and all the personal crap that gets in the way of performing how you want to when you want to. Anyway, I chuckled to myself about how when Ivan Basso is really digging deep, he looks as though he's about to fall off his bike in a fit of laughter. I was pleased to see that my blogging muse, Bike Snob NYC, promptly and humorously made reference to this strange version of the grimace. I can't believe how damn happy he looks climbing the toughest climbs. It must be a psychological thing, as snobby pointed out, though from a different direction. Instead of making your adversaries think you are nothing to worry about by keeping your legs fuzzy or losing a wheel; you make them feel like pussies because you look like you're having about as hard of a time with the Alps as you would with the Manhattan Bridge. This is sheer brilliance. I'm gonna steal that technique and use it to "slay" the Cadence Cup cat 5 races next spring.

Speaking of the Manhattan Bridge, after crossing it into the city this morning, I noticed one of those expand-a-tent thingies they use at outdoor markets, shading a veritable oasis of breakfast stuff! Not one to pass up free grub, I stopped and filled my pockets with fruits and Clif Bars while making small talk with the young activist types manning the stand. Apparently I had completely forgotten that this beautiful day happened to be National "Bike To Work Day"!

Oh shit not TA again. I love the concept of an advocacy group fighting for cyclists rights, but I must admit, I take issue with a number of the things the Transportation Alternatives wants.

Firstly, Bike lanes.

While I would certainly miss bike lanes if they were suddenly beamed out of existence; for me they create more problems than they solve. As BS NYC and others have pointed out countless times, bike lanes fester dangerous obstacles to even the most experienced cyclist. Road debris collects there, making it a wonderful place to perforate your tires; police, delivery trucks, and cabs use it as the default "double parking lane"; and it's frequently used as a lead-off zone for impatient pedestrians.

This may sound crazy, but you are (and feel) considerably safer if you take a lane of traffic and aggressively dominate it, even alone. When you cower in the gutter you're effectively ceding the road to the cars and they see you for what you are: small, slow, and weak. Please don't go Rambo on the 6 o'clock traffic, but holding your own on an avenue is a necessary skill in this city.

This brings me to the other major beef I have with Transportation Alternatives' agenda. They suggest cyclists be meek and obey the letter of the law 100% of the time in order to effectively "set an example" and to show car-drivers that cyclists deserve their portion of the road as well. Just like the Bully in elementary school, problems like this aren't going to go away by winning drivers over with unflappable kindness and tact. They're going to go away by standing up for one's self in the face of bodily harm. Again, sounds like a rediculous statement, but its true.

This was brought to my attention again by a commenter (I hope you don't mind me using your words Bill, I couldn't state this better than you did) on snobby's site. he writes:

"...there is nothing that pisses me off more than this new 'we have to get them to like us/respect us by obeying the rules' shit...as if that really is what drivers respond to 'damn, i really like the way you stopped behind the line, i was going to cut you off, but now..."

Personally, I couldn't agree more. Be that as it may, Thanks for the breakfast TA, biking definitely beats taking the subway, where those disgruntled MTA workers take every opportunity they get to confuse straphangers, as I witnessed yesterday, when I was forced to take the iron horse instead of my aluminum steed:


Update - Sorry about the shades-of-grey text today. I can't figure out how to make it all one color and it's kind of annoying me so I'm just going to leave it.