...typologies of transport

I notice lots of amusing similarities in the different modes of transport used by people commuting. I watch the daily parade of bike commuters in much the same way as I used to observe the mayhem of the commute in Houston Texas, where I used to live. In car-centric cultures such as those in the west, your transportation is an extension of yourself; as it is chosen, maintained, and driven by one person, the car presents the personality of the driver in ways few appreciate. I like to poke fun at other commuters mostly because it beats road rage (or bike lane rage, as the case may be), and because I'm sure they will pigeon-hole me in turn.

So all in good fun, here are some similarities I've drawn between the car-commuter culture of Texas and the bike-commuter culture of the concrete jungle:

1. The Cruiser: Automotive equivalent: 50's era, south-beach-appropriate convertible.
   
   
   Naturally opposed to hard labor and effort, the operator of the cruiser is a precarious type of commuter. While not concerned so much with outright speed or handling, beach cruisers have fragile egos and will not hesitate to test their mettle against those whose speed or agility might highlight their shortcomings. Use caution when passing cruisers, they are wide, fickle and likely to take being passed personally.
   
   
2. The Wilderness Master: Automotive equivalent: Jeep, or other capable 4X4.
   
   
   Popularized by denizens of the rocky mountains, this mode of transport is not for the faint of heart or users with specific goals. Generally taken as the "go-anywhere-do-anything-bike" MTB's are popping up in urban areas as well as more rural settings due to this assumption of utility. While a road bikes can speed along quickly and efficiently, they're restricted to the beaten path, a concept abhorrent to the true MTB-er. In new york, however, they have been sadly reduced to mere delivery trucks. Though rest assured, If there happens to be a mountain between you and your Chinese food, it can get to you (if the delivery guy is feeling up to it, that is) aboard this sturdy steed.
   
   
3. The McGuyver: Automotive equivalent: Woodsided station wagon
   
   
   A not-so-rare sight on the commute is the McGuyver commuter. You can't miss him cause he's got reflective tape on nearly all the parts of his cobbled together steel road bike, and usually wears a 20 year-old BELL helmet that probably wouldn't do a damn thing were it in a collision. He rides on the same gum-sided tires he's always had, and palps a wheel generator to power an enormous headlight and whatever other silly gadgets that might be attached. Don't let McGuyvers fool you, when they aren't commuting, they're slaying centuries on the weekends and could drop you like a hot rock while barely breaking a sweat.
   
   
4. The Weekend Warrior: Automotive Equivalent: Ferrari (or other equal super-car)
   
   
   Ever since the stock market tanked a while back, these commuters are rarer and rarer sights. When they still had their lucrative, pencil-pushing jobs, the weekend warriors would roll out of their carpeted garages on carbon wonder bikes that cost more than most normal people's cars do. It is not advisable to pass a weekend warrior on a weekday or in any non-race setting because mentally, they're always in race-mode, and feel obligated to show everyone how awesome, fast, and kewl they are. It has been rightly speculated that this is the cycling equivalent of dipstick measuring.
   
   
5. The Roadie: Automotive equivalent: Audi A5
   
   Similar in kind to the weekend warrior, these commuters ride sporty road bikes and like to go fast, though on a budget. The difference between the two has much to do with economy as it does temperament. Because the roadie embraces the need for both performance and utility, commuting is just convenient week-day training that saves on subway fare. though rarely seen wearing Lycra on the commute, these cyclists have the hearts of weekend warriors and the good sense of the McGuyvers.
   
   
6. The IT: Automotive equivalent: The IT
   
   Craftier cyclists that aren't content with conventional bicycle design opt for strange and beguiling methods as seen here. ITs (or "recumbent bikes" as they are apparently known) are frequently operated by mechanical engineers of the baby-boom generation. Whatever you do, abstain from asking them about their bizarre riding style or be prepared to suffer a lecture on the mechanical efficiency of their bicycle. Don't think that because the light changed, you can ride away from their tirade, their recumbent position allows them to talk at length without falling short of breath.

While this list certainly isn't complete, I thought it would be fun to start and perhaps add to as I notice more or decide to risk shit-talking the fixter scene.

Oh yeah, In other news, That asshole Menchov won the Giro, despite totally eating shit on the cobbles less than half a km from the finish. That wheelsucker didn't win by riding fast, he won by gluing himself to DiLuca's wheel for the last half of the race. Jerk