...the weekend madness (installment 12)

Unfortunately, I never made it to the Goldsprints Friday. I got home, armed myself with marshmallow essentials (bicycle, beer, and bud), and was all set to head over to hipster central when the sky opened up and a deluge of precipitation came down on NYC for the next 24 hours or so...

I really need some fenders.


Anywho, since Saturday was a flop for riding (for the aforementioned reason), I packed my sparse belongings into boxes, preempting my move back to Bed-Stuy, and watched youtube vids of bike races all day.

As I mentioned recently, I'm becoming quite the track racing fan and can't wait 'til I've got a bike worthy (and legal) for the velodrome. So of course I'm spending countless minutes in front of the computer watching races, studying tactics, and drooling over impossibly pretty bikes.

We all know (or if you don't you will soon) that track racing originally gained popularity right here, in NYC, over a hundred years ago; and Madison Square Garden, in its original 'sportway', was a velodrome that garnered widespread attention and created it's own event, called of course, the madison.

Sadly, track cycling lost much of it's popularity with the american public in favor of newer, more intense "sports" like Nascar and football. Fortunately, the sport held fast in other parts of the world like Japan, where it has enjoyed the status horse racing holds in the west, as a venue for state-run betting.


They organized thier own special event called the Keirin (ケイリン) where 6-9 cyclist sprint for 600m or so after being paced by a motorized bike for the first 3/4 of the course.

Needless to say, its a ripping good time and really fun to watch the color-coded racers muscle for position behind the pacer before all hell breaks loose and they fly to the line.

Like this:



I don't read Japanese, but I'm pretty sure all the writing is just betting odds and finish times.

Of course, like all state approved vices, gambling won't maintain continued financial success without manufacturing some desire... Check out these commercials I found for Keirin from Japan:





Pretty seductive, huh? I wish I could understand the speech and text to know if it's cheesy, epic, or epically cheesy.

Anyway, if that doesn't get your pistons pumping for some high-cadence action, just check out this viddy of a Keirin racer training:



Wow. The Japanese will conquer us all... on the track, at least.

...Phryday Fotos

(Nike X Livestrong - STAGES Art Exhibition at the Armory on Park via freshness mag)




(Cyclocross Norddal by Rapha on their Flickr page)

And this is what I'm doin' tonight... feel free to join me, I think shit kicks off at 7-ish

...oh no (and other things)

I recently stumbled across this frightening news about an amendment to bicycle road-use law in England. Apparently, due to the teeming British salmon populations, the government has relented and is allowing cyclists "to ignore no-entry signs"(aka ride against traffic) in an effort to promote cycling to people who are annoyed by having to ride an extra 500 feet to safely and legally arrive at their destination.

I have to say, encouraging cycling by allowing people to salmon is as good an idea as discouraging obesity by handing out free cocaine or promoting healthy eating habits by handing out fast food coupons.

My fear of bike-salmon, combined with the fast-approaching winter months, has led me to gain a considerable interest in Goldsprints. I always liked the idea of having a game to play or sport to watch when imbibing myself with booze at the local saloon, but never jived with the typical crowds at sports bars.

Thankfully, roller races and goldsprints offer marshmallows like me an opportunity to get wasted at a bar while watching a sport I actually give a shit about.

Here's how goldsprints typically look:

Goldsprints CMWC Tokyo from kymberly Perfetto on Vimeo.

Live-er than live coverage... Roller races can also be combined into strange indoor cyclocross races like this one Rapha put on a while back:

RAPHA Cross Roller Race - Oregon Manifest 2008 from RAPHA on Vimeo.

However, considering my aversion toward obstacles while cycling (which means cyclocross would only serve to piss me off) I might lash out in pavlovian fury when "racing" someone facing this scene:


Hey all you marshmallows! get outta the way, I'm trying to ride here!

Anyway, If you bothered to read through the article I linked above, you likely noticed that mention was made of bike-salmon appeasement in other European countries, which the English misguidedly took as a "standard."

Since New York City, Manhattan especially, is rife with euro-tourists possibly cycling, I feel it to be my duty to arm you with these handy phrases from some of our guests' native tongues.

• French: manière fausse, abruti!
• German: falsche weg, du arschloch!
• Spanish: ¡manera incorrecta, Baboso!
• Portugese: ¡caminho errado, imbecil!
• British: Kind sir, do try to mind the local traffic regulations; It would greatly please meh.